A Tender Moment




I’ve had a lot of conversations with people in the past weeks.

People in relationships and single people.

Mostly people who are dealing with issues and problems, some struggling deeply, some hurting, and some people searching.

What’s been fascinating is something has emerged that so many people are looking for, desiring, craving, hungering for.




I teach a course for couples using sensuality to create intimacy. In this I realised that there is no one definition of intimacy. It’s different for everyone, and it changes. What’s more important is looking at the elements of intimacy.


The same with tenderness.

It has elements of kindness, elements of affection, elements of gentleness, elements of caring, elements of presence.

And so many of us need all of that at the moment, all of us, truth be told.

There’s an authenticity in tenderness, it flows from the heart.

There’s a giving that comes from compassion, from connection, from intimacy.


To be heard with tenderness is to be deeply heard, acknowledged.

Your words received, you received.

To be held with the tenderness is to be held in a sanctuary of caring, of warmth. It’s to be held in arms of gentleness and caring. It’s to be held in space that allows you to rest, to relax, to release. A space that allows you to be, in all the rawness, all the delicateness you feel.

It allows you to be vulnerable, open, revealed, and held with caring.

To be touched with tenderness is to be touched with hands that are expressing the heart. Touched with presence that feels you, feels you so fully, in a way that your body longs for, has longed for for so long. Touched, caressed, stroked with such care.

To be touched with tenderness allows a slowing of time, sometimes so slow that it feels as if time stops, as if we’re beyond time. This space allows us to be present with ourselves, body, heart, in a moment where we can hear the pulsation of life.

An element of tenderness is to be looked after. A tender touch looks after you, looks at you, feels you, in that moment. You are cared for in a way that is beyond words.


There’s an allowing in a space that’s held with tenderness. An allowing yourself to soften, to melt, to dissolve into your essence.

When the tender heart allows itself to melt, it allows the armour, the defenses, the protection we’ve put there to just, oh, just, drift away.

The allowing is an emerging, an unfolding, an awakening, as if from a sleep. We stretch into the body, we stretch into the air, we stretch into feeling. We stretch into our space, our sacred space.


There’s an offer in a space of tenderness.

An offer to open, to be open.

To receive, just receive, which is a gift of such value, it’s almost priceless.

It’s an offer of a timeless moment of beauty, of deep human intimacy.


When we are held with tenderness against someone’s heart, when we feel their presence, healing happens.

When we are seen, heard, acknowledged, healing happens.


There is care.

When we are cared for, when we care, there is time. We have time, we are given time.

Life, a lover, another, holds that space for us.

And in time we learn to hold it for ourselves, for another.

There’s a growing devotion to living with tenderness. There is such strength in this, a suppleness that allows us to flow with the wind, with the water. To walk in, through, the fire.

And to rest, held in the earth.