Tag: #eroticism

Teaching Massage Online

For a long time I have resisted teaching massage online.

Firstly I held the belief that it has to be in the same space to get the subtlety and nuance. There’s a transmission of a feeling, of an energy, that happens in the workshop space. It’s about touch, and touch needs you to be there.

Then I had the belief that it was complicated. I needed a camera person to show close-up so you’d get the detail, and so much of what I teach, the way I teach it, the detail is important.
And a few other thoughts that just kept making this difficult and complicated.

A few things happened over the past weeks to change this.

A Tender Moment

I’ve had a lot of conversations with people in the past weeks.
People in relationships and single people.
Mostly people who are dealing with issues and problems, some struggling deeply, some hurting, and some people searching.
What’s been fascinating is something has emerged that so many people are looking for, desiring, craving, hungering for.

Tenderness.

Exploring Sexual Healing

There is much of our world that has taken what is sacred and made it dirty.
There is much of our world that has taken what is light and made it dark.
There is much of our world that has taken what is powerful and made it weak.
There is much of our world that has taken what is sacred and despoiled it.
There was a time when we knew the power of sexuality.

Exploring Healing

Many people come to a sexual journey looking for healing.
There’s a problem, an issue, a blockage,a pain, a hurt.
That’s where so many journeys begin.

A lot of my work happens in this space, or that’s where it starts anyway.
I’ve been thinking a lot during this lockdown of what healing is.
When we say we’re looking for healing what does that mean?
For many people it means that we need to fix something.

We Need Touch

We need to touch, and we need to be touched.
We need to hold, and we need to be held.
We need to pleasure, and we need to be pleasured.

These are needs.
Not wants or desires.
Needs.

The Love of Desire

I’ve shared with you that over the past year I haven’t had a sexual encounter with another.
For someone who has had a rich and full erotic life this has been really interesting.
For someone who has connected deeply through sex this has been really interesting.
It’s taken me deep into myself, into my body, my mind, my heart.
And deep into my desire.

In Service to The Heart Touch

I have been doing and teaching massage and touch for almost 30 years. The past 20 plus years in the field of Conscious Sexuality, Kashmiri Pleasure Massage, Yoni Massage, Taoist Massage, Lingam Massage, Energy Massage, Sensual Awakening Massage, Anal Massage and more.

Over the past months of lockdown, and in South Africa it’s been strict, I haven’t been able to touch.
This has brought its own gifts, in looking at new ways to share, which has brought about the weekly webinars and Sensual Saturday Nights, which I’ve loved.
It’s also given me time to reflect on touch, on how I do what I do, what the possibilities of this are, where it can expand to.
I’ve always said that there is no limit to pleasure, no limit to touch.
And I look forward, soon, to be able to share what I’ve learned with you.

The Conscious Cock

The Conscious C**k is an expression of the heart.
It is a c**k of service, of worship.
He has gone through and beyond performance.
He has gone through and beyond need.
He has gone through and beyond hunger.
He has gone through and beyond gormandizing.
He has gone through and beyond anger.
He has gone through and beyond hiding.
He has gone through and beyond darkness.
He has gone through and beyond fear.
He has gone through and beyond conquering.
He has gone through and beyond inhibition.
He has gone through and beyond shame.

Devotion

More than a year ago my lover said to me that she thought devotion might be more important than love.
We’re not together anymore, and that line has stayed in my head.
I’ve come back to it time and time again.
I understood it in my mind.
In the past few weeks it’s landed in me.
Landed in my heart, in my body, in my being.

Friction Sex, Energy Sex

Most people have what we call friction sex. It’s friction, simply.
One body part rubbing against another.
It creates friction.
(And as I write that something I’ve never quite seen before comes to me, I’ll share it a little further down in the piece.)
For most people the goal of friction sex is orgasm, hopefully for both, or all partners.
Even on our own we have friction sex, masturbating to orgasm.
It’s about the release that that kind of orgasm brings.
It’s something we ‘achieve’, make happen.

A Soft Cock Conversation

So much of the power of a cock is in its hardness, in its heat.
In its ability to penetrate, to open, to spread.
So much of its power, and so much of its pleasure.
This power, consciously expressed, as an extension of the heart, holds the space for surrender.
As much as it’s about penetration and opening, it’s about being invited, welcomed.
There’s a dance in this, we move together, advancing and retreating, twirling, swirling in the energy.
This is one expression of the masculine.

My Nurtured Cock

There is a practice that I teach in workshops and on healing journeys.
It’s a practice of creating a conscious relationship with your genitals. The relationship most of us have with our genitals is, at best, at best, functional. Which means that we’re concerned that everything works.
I sat at best, because the relationship most of us have is one of disconnect and judgment.

Exploring The Erotic Spirit

I was preparing for the webinar I have coming up on Thurs, Exploring the Erotic Spirit, with a smile inside.

It’s based on a workshop I teach called Awakening the Erotic Spirit. For a while I’ve been thinking about how to do that online, and realised in that format I don’t think it’ll work, so I was inspired to do it, with a twist.

The smile was that it’s a workshop that has such a special place inside of me, I developed it for a lover who was looking for something special to do on her birthday. Since then it’s always been one of my favourite things to share.

The Dance of Yoni Massage

Look into her eyes.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
There are no thoughts in this moment.
There is the opening to love.
Breathe into your heart.
Just breathe.

The Massage of Making Love

Can you touch this body as if you were making love?
Not making love as most of our world sees it.
Making Love.
Your hands expressing your heart.
Taking care.
Each movement gentle, slow, deep.
Making Love with your touch.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 19

I was looking through a Dropbox folder that had some pictures from a shoot we did a few years ago.
There were some pictures of a double massage, two people massaging one person, four hands on a body.

It’s a beautiful experience that heightens the sensations, sometimes radically. The Erotic aspect of it can be incredible. Four hands make so much more stimulation possible, so many places can be touched at the same time.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 18

One of the biggest blockages to experiencing and exploring the world of erotic massage is the story.
The story is deeply ingrained and impacts on women more than men.
It’s a story that reflects the fullness of the story of sexuality and pleasure.

The story is in the past.
It’s rooted in judgement, inhibition, guilt and shame.
It’s religious, it’s political and it keeps us disconnected from the possibilities of pleasure.
It keeps us trapped in a system that represses sexuality and pleasure.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 17

We live in a world obsessed with measuring things, with the rightness or wrongness of so many aspects of life based on measurement.
We judge people, give them value by how much they have.
This obsession has led to an incredibly warped view of what normal is.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 16

I had a beautiful experience last week, I taught a sensual massage lesson to a couple in their seventies who have been married for 52 years.
It’s not the first time people this age have come to a workshop or retreat, and it is beautiful every time it happens.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 15

One of the most beautiful, and most powerful, gifts that an Erotic Massage experience gives us, is the gift of receiving.

For so many women sex and pleasure come with many unstated rules and beliefs. There are many unwritten expectations that have not changed in a long time. Some of the deepest of these are that women’s pleasure is secondary, that pleasure is transactional and that reciprocation is a line with great unfairness.

Touch is a language, a communication that often goes deeper than words.
It tells of an authenticity that you feel deep inside, especially when that touch is from the heart.
The hands that touch you, hold you, caress you, stroke you, acknowledge your body.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 14

One of the most beautiful, one of the most powerful, and one of the most healing ways of being seen and acknowledged is through touch.

Touch is a language, a communication that often goes deeper than words.
It tells of an authenticity that you feel deep inside, especially when that touch is from the heart.
The hands that touch you, hold you, caress you, stroke you, acknowledge your body.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 13

There’s an interesting idea about healing, and life.
For so long we’ve been convinced that it’s about learning, about lessons, about fixing the problems, about diagnosing, putting it into a box with labels.
And then we’ll understand it.
And then we’ll know what to do with it, about it.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 12

I was recently asked why I use the word ‘erotic’ and not ‘tantric’.

Every word has connotations, meanings, which are different in different parts of the world.
They’re also different internally, meaning different things to us individually. And that can change over time, and with the experiences we have, and as our understanding of who we are and what we do, how we express ourselves changes.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 11

A while ago I was sitting with some colleagues, facilitators in different fields.
One of them said to me ‘I wish I was brave enough to attend one of your workshops.’
I was really surprised at that. These were people who do some pretty deep work.
But sexuality and pleasure are a different world, especially our own.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 8

There’s something interesting that happens from time to time, with women more than men.
A woman will come and talk about healing because her body isn’t very sensitive, she doesn’t get very aroused from being touched and she’d like to change that.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 6

The very first Taoist Sexual Energy Massage I did with a man was an interesting initiation. He had both nipples pierced, three genital piercings and various other piercings.
I was young, sexually, and body inexperienced. To say that this was a stretch was putting it mildly.
In time I came to experience so many bodies, types of bodies, variations, things people did to their bodies. I doubt that I’ve seen it all, simply because the human possibility in every way is without limits.

The Making of an Erotic massage Therapist Pt 5 – The Bliss Body

We have a pain body, and most of us know that well, we live from it.
We also have a Bliss Body.

We have a shadow, when we do growth work, healing work, we come to know the shadow well.
We also have a Bliss Body.

We don’t know the Bliss Body.
It’s subtle and deep, maybe the deepest part of who we are, and maybe the most subtle.
It’s the place where Source and Form meet.

Awakening The Beast – On The Path of Sexual Authenticity

A few weeks ago I wrote a piece called Exploring The Fire.
Since then I’ve had conversations with and Sat with people in my office who have all said something similar, and most of them have used exactly the same words.
‘I want to meet my beast.’

Men and Women.
‘I want to meet my beast.’

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 4

When you do this work from the heart, when you touch from the heart, it’s intimate.
Not only bodily intimate.
And the intimacy is what makes so much possible.
It opens the heart more and yet more.
It allows more energy to flow, through me, from me, through you, for you.
And for me.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 2

When you know a little about energy, a little about sexual energy, a little about the body, a little about arousal, you can turn someone on really easily. You can take them to orgasm easily.
It often doesn’t take a lot if you know a little.
Especially the way most women have been touched.

A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Nobody prepares us for love.
And maybe nobody can.
But we can go beyond the illusion.
Beyond what Hollywood and the media portrays love to be.
Beyond the myths we’re fed about love.

Because love is messy. It creates upheaval.

The Silent Suffering

For so many people sex is the place of silent suffering.
For so many men there is still such a stigma, such embarrassment, such shame about having a sexual problem.
For most men this is around erection problems, early ejaculation, loss of desire and libido, a lack of intimacy and even a lack of interest in sex.
Sexual performance, sexual prowess.
That’s what it’s become to be about for men.
And in truth what it’s come to be about is sexual pressure, emotional pressure.

The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 1

I’d like to share some of my journey with you, what brought me to this point as an erotic massage therapist and teacher.

I’ve been doing this for over 20 years and it’s a journey of continuous learning, expansion, growth, exploration, understanding and connection.
It’s about the body, it’s about the mind, it’s about the heart, it’s about energy, it’s about sexuality, it’s about sensuality, it’s about eroticism, it’s about intimacy and more.

Sexual Healing, The Paths of Possibility

I sat in my studio this morning with a client, listening to her sexual story, her desire to have the experiences she knew were there, to feel the things she knew were possible.

I was thinking about my journey, working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for 20 yrs.

It’s a full-body massage that works with the body’s meridian system, bringing healing to the entire being every time you experience it.
It’s slow, taking you into a state of deep relaxation, and gentle, allowing the relaxation to be enhanced, and making release possible.

Taoist Sexual Rhythm

One of the deepest practices that I offer and teach is Taoist Sexual Energy Massage.

It’s a full-body massage that works with the body’s meridian system, bringing healing to the entire being every time you experience it.
It’s slow, taking you into a state of deep relaxation, and gentle, allowing the relaxation to be enhanced, and making release possible.

Words on My Lover’s Body

If you wrote a poem on your lover’s body, what would it say?
Even your imaginary lover, the lover that you would like to have, the lover you dream about.
Where on their body would you write it?