Our Sexual Connection
Most people who come and see me, looking for healing, as that’s where so many journeys into sensuality, into Conscious Sexuality, into Tantra begin, are looking for something.
They’re looking to connect with their sexuality.
Some of us have never had that connection, have never owned our sexuality, never been comfortable, deeply comfortable, in our sexuality.
Some of us have disconnected from it over time, through stress, through trauma, through unfulfilled experiences, unmet expectations, disappointment and so many other issues.
My Love is My Arousal
Conscious Pleasure Experiences have the amazing quality of being portals of learning, healing and growth. This is where we shift from having sex to making love. We shift from a goal-oriented experience, orgasm, to a heart-centered experience.
It’s driven by a model that has trapped men in a very narrow experience of sexuality.
It’s silent.
And it’s silence it’s become repressed, suppressed, disconnected.
It’s become angry and emotionless.
It’s a pattern of limitation, of contraction.
Changing the Lingam Pattern
For so many men the masculine expression of sexuality is hard.
It’s driving, it’s taking.
Its need based, released based.
It’s about size, performance.
It’s driven by a model that has trapped men in a very narrow experience of sexuality.
It’s silent.
And it’s silence it’s become repressed, suppressed, disconnected.
It’s become angry and emotionless.
It’s a pattern of limitation, of contraction.
The Massage High
A while ago after a deep massage exchange someone said that she feels high, trippy, spacey.
Just looking at her I could see that she was in an expanded state of consciousness. There was a glow of joy, of peace, a radiance that was palpable.
Over the years of doing and teaching massage, something has emerged that’s given me a different perspective on massage and touch.
Hello
It’s the beginning of the year so it’s a great time to introduce, and re-introduce myself to you.
There’s also a lot that’s new in my work which is another good reason.
But first, a digression, I love digressions.
The only thing that’s going to make this year different, regardless of what’s happening externally, is our own inner journeys of healing, growth, learning and experience. That’s it. There is so much more to be said about this, books have been written about, there are so many talks and videos, about it.
The simplicity of it is just that, it’s about our inner journey.
I’m For The Slow
I’m for the slow….
For in the slow we feel.
In the slow we savour.
In the slow is the subtle.
In the slow is presence.
In the slow is appreciation.
In the slow is awareness.
In the slow our hearts open.
In the slow our bodies open.
In the slow we come into awareness.
I’m for the slow…
Lessons in Sacred Sex 3
Slowly, she said to me, slowly.
Rest the head of your Lingam at the opening of my Yoni.
Be still, breathe.
Feel her open, feel her begin to invite you in, to welcome you.
This is the honoring of the temple.
Make Love with Your Hands, Make Love with Life
I talk about making love with life.
I talk about how when we hear the term ‘making love’ our thoughts go to our genitals, to sex.
I talk about how making love happens in so many ways, and our genitals and sex are just one aspect of that.
I talk about how when we live more from our Hearts, life becomes an expression of making love.
I also talk about Heart-Centered Sexuality, as being more of an expression of love, of making love, than sex.
G-Spot Holding
G-Spot Holding is a deep practice of healing and release.
It’s a practice of pleasure.
It’s a practice of feeling and sensation.
It’s a practice of intimacy and connection.
It’s a practice of energy.
It’s a practice of allowing.
Allowing in healing, as that’s where so many of our journeys begin, is important.
In allowing, the body, the wisdom within us, becomes the guide.
Coffee, Panettone and Expanded Orgasm
Coffee this afternoon is special, with one of my favorite things, Panettone, so deliciously sensual.
I am so glad we only get them for a short time in South Africa, at this time of the year.
Tonight’s workshop is also special, one of my favorites to teach. I enjoy everything I teach, Expanded Orgasm is always special as it was one of the first workshops I taught
Coffee of Loving and Longing
Coffee this afternoon is fascinating.
I’m sipping it slowly, savoring the taste, the aroma. I’m looking at the sky, the garden, the clouds. I love watching clouds. I’m listening to the birds, distant traffic.
I’ve written and deleted a few lines so many times.
It’s a delicate coffee, delicate of body, delicate of mind.
A Conscious Pleasure Experience
Coffee this afternoon is back home in Johannesburg.
There’s a rain shower, gentle rain, and I can see the sun shining in some parts of the sky, in the distance.
The sound of the raindrops falling on the different surfaces, the grass, the trees, the roof, the railings of the balcony, come together, separate.
My cup is nearly empty as I write this, something that’s been inside for a long time.
Giving Myself Away Over Coffee
Coffee this afternoon is back home in Johannesburg.
There’s a rain shower, gentle rain, and I can see the sun shining in some parts of the sky, in the distance.
The sound of the raindrops falling on the different surfaces, the grass, the trees, the roof, the railings of the balcony, come together, separate.
My cup is nearly empty as I write this, something that’s been inside for a long time.
This Sensual Moment of Oneness
On Saturday I was at The Oranjezicht Market in Cape Town.
There was a moment.
A moment of such deep sensuality that my heart swelled to having no edges that I could feel.
I was standing in one of the good areas.
Bob Dylan was coming over the sound system.
There was a carpet of voices.
There was the aroma of coffee.
There was the aroma of so many foods.
There were the colours of all the produce.
There were people, bodies.
There was the wind.
There was the sea.
I breathed it in and my heart expanded, expanded, expanded…
In a moment of sensuality. I was all those things, all those people, they were me.
Then the world came back, the boundaries of life settled back into place.
Coffee and an Offering
I’ve been thinking a lot, writing about love.
I’ve been deeper into love in myself.
And I’ve been thinking about making love.
There is often a question asked about the difference between having sex and making love.
During my yoga practice the other morning I was listening to my teacher’s voice about the Unlimited Posture.
So much about love came rushing in, particularly about the limitation we put on love.
Not only how little we allow ourselves to feel, which keeps us safe, because if you go too deep, well, everything is going to crack open.
But also the limitation on the context of love. Who we can share that with, how that needs to be.
Birthday Coffee and Love Unlimited
I’ve been aware of an expanding expression of love.
Seeds that were planted, some long ago, some more recently, coming into flower.
Deepening my Heart Breath practice, sitting more in my heart in healing, space, teaching space.
For so many of us love happens in a very specific context, in a very specific way. It happens between 2 people, and it happens with a whole lot of expectations, expressed or not, a whole lot of desires, hopes and wants, expressed or not.
Expressing love beyond this, other than to family, close friends, takes us into a deep story of patterning, conditioning, judgment and even fear.
The Heart Touch and a Rush Of Love
Over the past weeks some new practices have emerged in my work.
There’s been a mixing of massage and meditation, and a mouth massage, both of these have deepened healing and pleasure experiences enormously.
And then something else in the past week.
The only way I can describe it is a Rush of Love.
The Way of Gentleness
There are many ways to heal, to learn, to grow and to experience.
The path I’ve chosen is that of gentleness.
In gentleness we soften, we open.
We relax, we release.
We let go.
We can’t do that in tension, in contraction.
In gentleness we allow.
We connect to the wisdom within us, in our bodies, in our hearts.
We can hear, we can feel, the inner voice, the guidance.
We can move, literally and metaphorically, energetically, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually.
Holding Presence
One of the most intriguing aspects of this journey of teaching is the learning that keeps coming.
During a Water Flow Massage experience I had a beautiful opportunity to do this. I don’t often participate in the experience, and this week I allowed myself that gift. It brought an incredibly important element of the experience, and of touch and healing work to mind. There are so many elements of this work that from time to time we tend to forget some of them.
Holding.
One of the simplest, and deepest, most powerful parts of touch is holding.
With presence.
And that’s the key.
Cold Coffee and the Facts
Last week I had coffee with my social media coach, Bronwynne. (By the way, she is fantastic, if you’re looking for help with social media, I’ll happily connect you.)
I showed her what I’d written as an introduction to the workshops, and I saw from the look on her face that it wasn’t…not not good, just flowery, poetic, round-about…
It made me think of a misquote by Dan Aykroyd from an old TV series, ‘Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts’.
Expanded Energy Orgasm
There is such power, such possibility in being relaxed, deeply relaxed, in pleasure.
The body opens, energy begins to flow.
From our sexual centre to the heart, and higher, spreading through the body.
A wave of sexual energy that releases so much that is blocked within us, within the tissues of our body.
A wave of sexual energy that fills us with gentle vitality.
A wave of sexual energy that fills us with gentle bliss.
A wave of sexual energy that melts us, expands us.
A Conscious Mouth
This idea arose from a place of deep pleasure, from a place of intimacy with my body, from a place of conscious connection and awareness with my body.
For so many of us the relationship we have with our bodies is, at best, functional.
I say at best as we’ve been conditioned not only out of our bodies and more into the mind, but also out of liking, accepting and loving our bodies.
An Embrace
There is one thing we all need at the moment.
Need.
All of us, wherever we are on the rainbow of life, in every way there can be.
Need.
One of the effects of the pandemic, and its own pandemic, is the disconnect, the isolation, the separation we’re experiencing.
The impact of this, on our bodies, our hearts, our minds, our energy, goes deep. It contracts us, contracts every aspect of our health and well-being, on every level of being human.
More than ever we need to be embraced.
Being A Good Lover Is…
There is a really interesting aspect of being a good lover that we don’t always connect with sex.
Almost everyone who shares a healing and growth with me at some point says that they’re amazed at how it has everything to do with sex and nothing to do with sex.
This is the same.
Sex doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It doesn’t take place in a separate space from the rest of our lives, and it definitely is connected to the rest of a relationship.
So much that sex is about isn’t in the bedroom.
Sexual Healing, Heart Healing
There is something that I have intrinsically known that has come to conscious awareness.
So many of our sexual issues are heart issues.
We heal them in the heart.
Yes they’re in our bodies, in our genitals.
Yes we need to do the healing, the release there.
The Best Time
When we’re present, when we’re in this moment, when we’re connected to ourselves, when we’re open, when we’re in a space of intimacy, with ourselves, more than anything else, this moment is the best there is.
And it’s never about comparing anything.
This moment is everything.
The Heart Touch
When I started teaching The Heart Touch the way I taught massage changed so much.
