Tag: #heartsex

THE ENTICING INVITATION OF NUDEVEMBER

Nudevember has some wonderful opportunities and invitations for us.
One of these, and it’s such a big part of the work, the workshops, the journeys we share, is the relationship we have with our bodies.

THE BEAUTIFUL APPRECIATION OF SOFT-C&CK PLEASURE

This week is Soft-C&ck Appreciation Week.
And for many men, the vast majority, and women, it’s an anathema, it’s a fear, it’s a terror, it’s a nightmare.
It’s a space, a situation of such stress for so many men, and their partners, that even the thought of it causes even more stress.

GOING DEEPER THAN THE SURFACE OF PLEASURE

Many of us live surface lives, especially when it comes to our bodies.
Many of us live surface lives, especially when it comes to pleasure.
Many of us live surface lives, especially when it comes to sensuality, sexuality and eroticism.

THE SOFT, SLOW RELEASE OF DE-ARMOURING

I’ve been doing, and teaching De-armouring for a long time.
Yoni and Lingam, the breasts, the body.
My approach, and practice has always been soft, slow, gentle.

THE HEART OF INTIMACY AWAKENING

One of the meanings of Tantra is Weaving the Loom.
I love that, and keep coming to it in so many aspects of life.
One of these ‘stories’ came to me this morning.
I love how one idea, one thread, connects to another to another, and a ‘picture’ emerges.

THE TOUCH WITHIN THE TOUCH

It’s important because most of our communication is not verbal. In fact only about 30% is.
That’s one of the reasons that touch is so important, and more so, what’s in the touch.

WHEN WE MAKE TALKING ABOUT &^* NORMAL

There is a question, an issue, that comes up a lot. It has, in all the time I’ve been doing this work, and more so recently.
One partner wants to heal, to grow, to learn, to explore.
The other doesn’t.
And this applies more to men than women, although it’s not exclusive.

TO FEEL LIKE A GODDESS FOR A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT

A while ago someone said to me after an experience, Thank you for making me feel like a Goddess, even for a little while.
This touched me deeply, and also brought some things to awareness.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO ME

I’m sitting here on a chilly Saturday in Johannesburg, contemplating writing a piece for my newsletter, and to share with you.
In a few weeks I’m sharing my Sensual Massage Workshop, A Lover’s Touch, as well the YoniLingam Massage.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD COFFEE, BAD SEX

Life is too short to have bad sex, and too short to have bad love.
It’s also too short to have bad coffee.
And a whole lot of other things.
Which begs the question. What is bad sex?

THE TOUCH THAT INVITES TOUCH

There is a touch that seeks touch
There is a touch that invites touch
There is a heart that seeks another
There is love that seeks love
There is pleasure that seeks pleasure
There’s a beautiful concept that what we seek is seeking us.

THE IMPORTANCE, THE VALUE OF TOUCH

‘Twas touch that began this journey.
In the 1st year of a psychology course, studies on the impact of us not getting enough touch, adults and babies.
The physical, psychological, heart, energy, social impacts, how this affects pretty much every area of health.
That led to a 1st massage course, to explore touch more.

STEPPING INTO THE PLEASURE GAP

I shared a piece a while ago about some of the sexual and pleasure gaps we experience.
We talk about the orgasm gap, and that’s only a part of it.
One of the gaps, and it’s a big one, is the gap between what we’d like, and what we experience.

LESSONS IN SACRED SEXUALITY 6

Look into my eyes
She said
Look into my eyes
As you enter my body
That you enter my heart
That you enter my being
That you enter me

I’M A SENSUAL MASSAGE GEEK

Someone called me a name on the weekend, and I loved it. They called me a Sensual Massage Geek.
Yes, oh yes!
So much!
A while ago at an event someone came up to me and said ‘You’re the Massage guy.’

A LOVER’S TOUCH

When you sit before another
And look into their eyes
When you breath into your heart
And feel the love that dwells there

DON’T LET THE FIRE GO OUT

There’s a concept I use quite a lot when I teach, The Sexual Fire.
It’s a wonderful analogy for many things.

THE DESIRE TO BE SEEN

One of our greatest desires is to be seen.
Seen in a way that we feel deep inside.
Seen in a way that has a knowing beyond words.
Seen in a way that we feel beyond words.

THE YONI MASSAGE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE

Yoni Massage has become one of the Neo-Tantra Quasi-Spirituality Buzzwords.
And what many are offering as Yoni Massage is P**** Massage.
Which is fine, for what it is, and it’s a far experience from Yoni Massage.

THE SUBLIME PORTAL OF YAB-YUM

There is a way of making love that is sublime.
There is a way of making love that is surrender.
There is a way of making love that is about arising into the present.

THE LABELS OF PLEASURE

The labels of pleasure are often the limitation of pleasure.
I am a human being, a sensual being, a sexual being, a man of pleasure.

YOU GOTTA LOVE LOVING

A big part of being a lover, of being a good lover, of being an amazing lover, in the fullness of that word, is to love loving.
To love looking, touching, feeling, tasting, smelling, sensing, listening, in every way.
To savour, to relish.
The body, the mind, the heart, the spirit, the being.

THE PAINFUL DISSERVICE TO MALE SEXUALITY

We have done men, and male sexuality a great disservice.
We have come to define successful male sexuality by 2 very narrow, very limiting things.
An erection, and the supposed ability to make a woman come.

THE INVITATION FOR PLEASURE IS IN THE PAUSE

For me, one of the really important aspects of being a teacher is to constantly be a learner.
I think so many of us learn something, a practice, a system, and keep repeating it.
The inner journey of healing, awareness, self-knowledge, exploration is vital on this path.

WHAT IT IS TO SHOW UP SEXUALLY

I was thinking about what it is to show up sexually, to show up sensually, to show up erotically.
To show up consciously.
And how different that might look from what so much of the world thinks it is.

THE TOUCH THAT REVEALS LOVE

A while ago I wrote a piece about making love that said we can’t make love, love is there, we reveal it.
I came back to it this week in a different way, a deeper way.

THE SUBTLE, STRONG AND ENCHANTING CLITORAL SYMPHONY

Most of us touch clitoris like Death Metal.
As hard, as fast, as loud as we can.
This amazing, this beautiful organ, is the entire orchestra, and the whole symphony.
It’s jazz and blues, it’s a mantra and a chant, an opera and a rock ballad, it’s new age and a raga…

THE FREEDOM OF PERMISSION TO PLEASURE

The permission for pleasure
Is the permission for freedom
Is the permission for intimacy
Is the permission for love
Is the permission for possibility.

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT, SEXUALLY?

I sat with a group of women, some have been on the journey for a while, for some it was the beginning.
One of the questions that came up was What do you want, sexually and sensually?
For some, the answer, answers, were quick and easy, for some, not so, for some, even in this safe space, it was hard to verbalize, to say, and for some, I don’t know.

THE HUNGER OF THE AWAKE AND CONSCIOUS TOUCH

It is such a beautiful and powerful thing to see the hunger for touch, conscious touch, awaken within a woman.
It is such a beautiful and powerful thing to see the hunger for pleasure, conscious pleasure, awaken within a woman.

THE SEXUAL ENERGY OF ARISING PRESENCE

This is a totally different path of sexuality than many of us know.
It’s a different model.
It’s not just taking some Tantric techniques and putting them in a more western model.
It’s taking it a step further.
It’s taking it to not doing sex, not having sex, to feeling the sexuality within us, and allowing it to dance us.

THE BEAUTIFUL ART OF BECOMING A SACRED LOVER

This week I’m sharing a webinar which includes some of the oral pleasure and penetrative practices.
When we do this, and we look at going deeper, beyond the technique, phrases like sacred sexuality, sacred pleasure, YoniLingam worship come up.
They’re phrases we sometimes bandy about without really considering them, and what they mean.

CONSCIOUS SEXUALITY, CONSCIOUS LIFE

There’s a definition of Conscious Sexuality that I work with that has much to offer.
It’s this, To be present during sex, and to allow whatever arises to be there.

It’s amazing how 1 element, presence, changes so much in our pleasure experience.

THE VOCABULARY OF THE LANGUAGE OF PLEASURE

I had some music on in the background the other day and a line from a song vibrated a strand of creativity inside of me.
It was a Tina Turner song, the line was ‘You speak the language of love like you know what it means.’
The connection for me was The Language of Pleasure.

ON MY OWN, EASY, WITH A PARTNER, HMMM…

A woman came to see me a while ago, sharing something that’s actually quite common.
She couldn’t, had never, had an orgasm with a partner.
She’d been married, had had lovers, had tried hook-ups, never with a partner.
On her own, yes, easy.

SEXUAL WELLNESS, THE SHIFT TO POWERFUL FREEDOM

There’s a phrase coming up recently, a concept that’s going to be around more and more.
Sexual Wellness.
I was thinking about it, and it got me to thinking that our natural sexual state is wellness.

A LOVER’S TOUCH, THE ART AND SKILL OF SENSUAL AND EROTIC MASSAGE

Next weekend in Johannesburg, I’m sharing one of my signature workshops, A Lover’s Touch, The Art of Sensual and Erotic Massage.
It’s the beginning of a journey that has no limits. After more than 25 years of exploring Touch, of experiencing the depths it can take us to, of what’s possible, the sensations, the feelings, the energy, the ways to touch, I can say that with amazement.

WHOSE ORGASM IS IT? (AND DOES IT MATTER?)

Orgasms, all kinds, Clitoral, G-Spot, A-Spot, P-Spot, U-Spot, Cervical, Blended, Expanded, Anal, Breast, Ears, Toes…Are fantastic!
They do so much for us, give us so much, have so many benefits, physically, mentally, emotionally, chemically, spiritually…

GET OFF THE AGENDA INTO THE FREEDOM OF PLEASURE

Most of us, for most of our lives, have been living with someone else’s sexual agenda.
It’s been the porn industry’s agenda, religion’s agenda, the beauty industry’s agenda, the medical agenda, the psychological agenda, a partner’s agenda, the ‘normal’ agenda, a political agenda.