There is a deep practice of Lingam Healing, male healing, heart healing.
It’s a practice of presence.
It’s a practice of receiving, of being.
It’s a slow practice, it has very little movement.
It’s a practice of time, the time it takes each time, and the time it takes for a man to relax into it, to receive it.
Many of us yearn for deeper experiences, higher states, greater experiences of energy, of sensation and feeling.
And so we should, as that’s our potential, that’s our possibility.
To have these, to go to those places, there’s something to understand.
We can only go where our capacity allows us to go.
The capacity of our body, of our nervous system, of our emotions, of presence.
Going deeper into the body
Going deeper into intimacy
Going deeper into sensation
Going deeper into feeling
Going deeper into devotion
The Experience of 1000 Kisses
I was sharing a lesson on sensuality and intimacy with a couple recently and an important element of this came up.
To care for another.
To care about another.
To touch with care.
To kiss with care.
Intentional Sensual Massage is one of the most powerful, most consistent ways to have deeper pleasure experiences.
Intentional Sensual Massage is one of the most powerful ways to have pleasure experiences that become expanded states of consciousness.
Intentional Sensual Massage is one of the clearest ways to experience deep states of erotic and sexual energy.
Next week in Johannesburg, the following week in Cape Town, we’re sharing a workshop that we’ve called Tantric Intimacy, Connection and Sexual Energy.
There’s something so important in this workshop that can change our sexual experiences, deeply and simply.
It can also have an impact on our relationships that will open space and possibility.
The world of Conscious Sensual Massage has so many possibilities for us.
In a few weeks we have a series of massage workshops coming up in Joburg and Cape Town.
I was thinking about these experiences, and what they are, what they have for us.
There’s actually some important stuff here.
The first thing is that learning, and experiencing these practices, is a journey into ourselves.
Touch is an incredible guide to our inner selves as it has no filters, like the mind does.
For many of us the model of sex is based on what we think it should be, how we think it should be, how we think it should look.
This is often a porn-based model, filled with the idea of performance and expectation.
This is often a Hollywood based model.
Orgasm, the way we express orgasm, especially for women, has been caught up in this model.
Drop into your body.
Drop deep, into the base, into the pelvis.
On so many journeys, in so many teachings, it’s about moving up, moving away from our base.
And it just may be that moving the other way, moving down, brings us into ourselves. Into the core.
When we engage with a journey of sexual healing we need to understand that our sexuality doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s connected to all aspects of our lives and so many aspects of our lives play out in our sexuality.
Conscious Sexuality includes all parts of who are and allows all of us to be there.
This is a beautiful and powerful sharing of a woman’s experience on this journey.
My journey started with Jonti as a path to repairing the relationship with my husband. My husband wanted to explore other partners and realised that not one person cannot fulfil every part of you. This was hard to hear and wrap my head around. I wanted a divorce, we were done.
One of the most beautiful, one of the most powerful, one of the most intimate, one of the deepest experiences we can share, is to make love with a woman slowly, really slowly. Gently, really gently.
One of the most transformative experiences is to make love with a woman without the goal of orgasm, without the pressure to perform.
A few years ago I went through a period of celibacy.
For someone who teaches in sexuality this created many fascinating possibilities.
It also gave me the space, which has continued, to look at my own sexuality.
A big part of this journey has been the relationship we have with our bodies, our genitals and our sexuality.
I have been a seeker for most of my life.
I did my first massage course in my early 20’s.
Since then I’ve been a seeker, a learner, a teacher, an experimenter, an adventurer, a discoverer, an experiencer, an experimenter, a creator, of touch.
Over time I’ve come to see, to feel, the power, the beauty, the mystery, the magic of touch.
I see this almost every day.
I was thinking about what to share with you, at the beginning of this year.
And what I’d like to share with you in the year, here in South Africa, and wherever you are in the world.
I was thinking about how important touch is for us, more and more all the time.
So many of us are disconnected, alone and isolated.
We’ve shared a lot this year, you and I.
We’ve shared in South Africa, we’ve shared in Ireland, we’ve shared in India.
We’ve shared in person, in touch.
We’ve shared on the other side of a screen.
We’ve shared in words, in videos.
I am grateful for all of it.
I love teaching about, talking about, writing about, all the different aspects of sexuality, sensuality, pleasure and eroticism.
There is so much.
And in this sharing there is so much to learn.
We learn about ourselves, we learn about our partners.
We learn about our bodies, our hearts, our energy, our minds.
We learn about our patterns.
And we learn about possibility.
I talk a lot about how limitless the world of touch is, how vast the range of possibility is.
This weekend I shared an experience of such beauty, such connection, such sensuality, such eroticism with 2 people.
There were open hearts, open minds, open hands, open bodies.
Touch is a doorway, a portal to an inner world that is endless in its depth.
And a doorway to an outer world of experience, connection and intimacy.
A way for us to express beyond words what’s in our hearts.
Our touch has a knowing that’s of the body, of wisdom and an inner intelligence that’s in our sensuality.
I teach a lot of workshops that are about sexual techniques.
I love these, and they’re important as they have a lot of information in them, a lot about anatomy, a lot about where things are in our bodies, and in our partner’s bodies, how to find them, how they work.
Something interesting about these workshops, again, that’s important is when we hear this information, we understand a lot about ourselves.
I get messages, emails, questions and enquiries from people in many countries, as I’m sure do many of my colleagues.
These are coming more and more as so many of us are looking for, longing for a different way of living, of loving.
So many of us are seeking possibility.
Many of these are from people experiencing sexual blockages and issues.
For a long time I’ve said what amazing teachers Massage and Touch are.
And what amazing healers, connectors, way-showers, portals to so much, opener, revealers, pleasurers and more…
And in this I am inspired.
I was thinking about Hard Sex and Fire Sex.
They’re not the same thing.
Fire Sex is presence.
Fire sex is my entire body, my eyes, my mouth, my throat, my voice, my heart, my belly, my Lingam, my pelvis, my legs.
For a while I’ve had the awareness of how few of us make love.
We have sex, and often we call it making love.
Firstly, we use that as a euphemism, a lot of sex is not connected to love.
It’s about a release, it’s about seeking a few moments of deep letting go, it’s about using someone’s body to masturbate, it’s about taking, conquering, using.
It’s often to make ourselves feel good.
I’m putting this in the context of a Yoni Massage, and it’s such an important aspect of touch, of massage, of sensuality and pleasure.
I’ve been doing, teaching and developing massage for over 20 years, Conscious Sensual Massage, Erotic Massage, Taoist Sexual Energy Massage, Yoni Massage, Lingam Massage, Sexual Healing Massage, Anal Massage, Kashmiri Massage, Sensual Bondage Massage and more.
Something landed for me this week.
I know it, but this week it came to awareness in 4 words.
Touch from the feeling.
There’s something I come back to again and again.
It’s about healing, in a different way.
So many of us begin a journey of sexuality and sensuality looking for healing, which does mean many things.
And the way that so many of us do this is where the pain, in the way it expresses itself, becomes the focus.
For years of doing this work, in the field of Conscious Sexuality, over 25, I see the power of this again and again.
It’s the power of possibility, the power of pleasure.
When we look up the word Encounter, we find something interesting in the definition.
‘Unexpected’, is in the definition.
There is so much in our sensuality, in our eroticism that is unexpected.
I have been teaching and sharing Yoni, and Lingam Massage, for over 20 years.
Firstly, why sharing rather than doing?
Because it’s not just something that’s done to you, it’s a conversation between us, between bodies and hearts.
As much as you receive, it’s a connected experience.
The Art of Pleasure is a path of awareness, of consciousness, of energy, even of spirituality.
A while ago I had an experience that was so beautiful, so powerful, so intimate.
It was an experience without touch, not in the way we view touch anyway.
It was a timeless experience.
It was a heart opening experience, a body experience of deep sensation.
It was an Eye Gazing Experience.
The way most people have penetrative sex is what we call friction sex.
That’s exactly what it is, skin rubbing against skin. We generally do it harder and faster as the sensation builds to have that explosive, contractive orgasm.
It becomes about more friction, more friction, harder, faster.
It’s the explosion we’re seeking.
There’s something I teach which is so important when it comes to pleasure, to sexuality, to sensuality, to growth.
It’s also such an important element in relationships.
There’s a progression, a journey that starts with curiosity.
Curiosity becomes interest.
Interest becomes fascination.
Fascination becomes wonder.
As much as your skin longs for my hand, my hand longs for your skin.
As much as your skin feels my hand, my hand feels your skin.
There’s a conversation here, of sensation, of feeling.
A conversation of touch, that’s a conversation of the Heart.
It may be a Divine conversation, a prayer whispered through the touch, a meditation of listening, in the touch.
I’ve recently spent some time with more than a few men who are sharing something interesting.
These men are going through a sexual awakening.
What’s interesting is that in the world of Conscious Sexuality so many women experience and go through a sexual awakening, and it’s not something we talk about with men.
This awakening is about many men becoming aware of their sexual fluidity.
So often when we hear the term soft sex we think about a soft Lingam.
That can be such a beautiful experience and has some amazing possibilities.
I’d like to share something different with you about soft sex.
It’s a softening, a softening into your body, your heart, your genitals, into your partner, into the moment, into the energy.
Breast and Heart Massage is the space where healing, relaxation, acknowledgement, sensuality, arousal, love and nurturing meet.
It’s often an experience of deep emotion, bringing so much to awareness.
For many women breasts are symbolic of nurturing and nourishing, and for many women that’s mostly been in giving.
I learned something a while ago.
Enter from within.
It sounds paradoxical, it is, as is so much of life, when we really see it.
Enter from within.
Every time we look into each other’s eyes, energy travels from me to you, you to me.
Every kiss, every touch, energy.
I breathe your breath into me, I take your essence, I give you mine.
Every touch, energy.
There is something so important in relationships, it’s vital to the longevity of a relationship, to the excitement and intimacy of a relationship.
To keep seducing each other.
Over and over again.
There is a space, and a way, where massage becomes a meditation.
There is no giving or receiving, simply the sharing.
It’s a flow, a dance, a meditation of the body, of the heart, that happens in, and through touch.
Let’s explore a few threads of this and then bring them together in a space of beautiful possibility.
Mostly, everything we do with a lover is because it’s about getting to the next thing.
We kiss so I can touch your breasts. I touch your breasts so I can touch your Yoni. I touch your Yoni so I can be inside you. I’m inside of you so I can have an orgasm.
With every stroke thereafter, I relaxed my yoni, I relaxed my cervix. I could breathe. I could feel and there was SO. MUCH. SPACE.
The more I relaxed, the more space there was for my lover’s c*** to expand into.
Every breath opened me up so that he could fill it.
There’s a beautiful concept that what we seek is seeking us.
There’s another beautiful concept of consciously receiving, welcoming touch.
May I honour you by looking into your eyes.
May I honour your body by looking at you, at your skin, at the curves and plains, the valleys, the ridges.
May I take you in with my gaze and look at you in wonder.
May I honour your body by breathing your scent in, by drawing you in me on my breath.
May I honour you by listening to your words, to your tone.
May I honour your body by bringing your palm to my mouth and tasting your skin.
May I honour your body by laying my hands on your skin, feeling you, touching you.
May I honour your body by, even for a moment, immersing myself in you, and in this, knowing we are one.
I talk about the limitless possibility of the body, the limitless possibility of touch, of sensuality, of the ways to touch, to connect, the ways we can experience ourselves and another.
On the weekend we shared a Live Yoni Massage Webinar with a focus on Cervical Orgasm.
The demonstration of this was powerful, beautiful, entrancing.
As I was preparing for the event, I came to see that one of the things about Cervical Orgasm is that it’s a transformational experience for both men and women.
A Cervical Orgasm is an experience that comes from the cervix and the area around the cervix being stimulated. It can happen on your won and with a partner. It’s deeply emotional, an experience of sexual energy, it can be pysychedelic, spiritual, an expanded state of consciousness and more.
This arose in the context of Yoni, and Lingam Massage.
As I sat with it, exploring it, I became aware of how it extends to all erotic and pleasure experiences.
For me the Erotic is the body and the heart. They’re inseparable.
It’s the space where energy expresses itself in sensuality and pleasure.
There’s something that opens a door for men, something that moves in the body first, then it moves in the heart, then it comes to awareness, giving the mind a different perspective.
The body changes things where the mind often resists.
When the body softens, opens, relaxes, it releases, it let’s go.
It begins to change a pattern.
It’s easy to penetrate someone’s body, it’s easy to be penetrated.
And that’s what so many of us do.
Just that, physically.
There is an art of penetration, an art of receiving, of welcoming, of drawing someone in to your body, in to your heart, in to your being.
This is where we find a level of intimacy, of connection, that touches us deeply, body, heart and soul.