The Nurtured C***

For over 25 years on my journey into Conscious Sexuality I’ve been learning about men and male sexuality.
Firstly by going into my own Sexuality and sensuality, and then by spending so much time with men in a work space.

A great deal of this space has been helping men with sexual issues, love issues, intimacy issues.
I’ve worked with men who have lost their prostate through cancer, men who have lost relationships and marriages, men who struggle with sexual issues across the board.

One of the deepest things I’ve come to see, and how much this impacts on many men in so many ways, is how hard it is for us to receive.
What’s interesting is that I’ve worked with as many gay and bi men, as straight, who have the same issues.
It’s about men, all of us.

Cl-itoral Pulsations

Part of Cl-iteracy, which is to be clitorally literate.

To be literate with something is to know it, to have knowledge of it. And to be able to read it, to understand it.

That on its own is a lot. To know her clitoris, this pearl of pleasure. To know its anatomy, to know how its context, how it connects to a woman, to her body, her heart. And to know how to pleasure, the limitless possibilities of pleasure, this jewel. Which is what the French call her clitoris, bijou, a jewel.

The Subtle Power of Stillness

TThere’s a thing with sex, as soon as we’re inside someone, or someone is inside us, to move.
It’s almost as if our pelvis has a life, a will of its own, as if we’re programmed to move.
It might not be easy, because for most of us, sex is about sensation. And the more sensation we have, the more we want.
Yes, it feels good. And when you learn to move in many different ways it feels amazing.
It takes consciousness, connection with your body, presence.

Tears on my Chest

Tears on my chest
Sacred tears.

I sat with a man in Yab-Yum, holding him, naked chest to naked chest, heart to heart.
We sat in stillness and breathed, coming into our bodies, softening into each other, into the warmth of our skins, into presence.
I began to rock him, to slowly move his body.
We softened into each other, into relaxation, into the breath, into the movement.
I felt the vibration deep inside of him, felt it rise to his heart, felt his body tremble.
I felt his tears on my chest.
My heart melted.


The longing for love is the longing to belong
To know that have a home in the arms that hold you
With the heart that beats alongside yours
In the rhythm of breath
With eyes that see you

Penetration, Heart to Heart

At the opening of her Yoni, pause.
Before you enter her, pause.
Be still, so still.
And so much happens in this stillness, this moment of quiet.

In this moment, this stillness, there’s a listening to your lover, to her body, to her heart.
You’ll only hear it, feel it, in the stillness.
You’re feeling for her to open for you, to welcome you, to draw you in with the invitation of softening.
And the presence of the head of your Lingam is showing your desire for her.

From Hard and Tight to Soft and Open

I was thinking about how much of our sexual experience is in the category of hard and tight.
Hard cocks, tight vaginas.
Hard and tight is a space of pressure, a space of performance, a space of judgment and comparison.
It’s a space of fantasy and illusion.
It’s a space of pressure.
It’s a space with no heart, with no spirit, with no intimacy, with no energy.
It’s a space of almost using someone else’s body to masturbate, and we call it sex.

Healers and Lovers

I think we need more lovers than healers.

We need more people to hold a space for us to feel loved in, simply loved.
And this is where the healing happens.
It’s in the space of being.
It’s in the space of being heard, of being seen.
It’s in the space of being who we are, as we are, and in time to come to the deeper parts of who we are. In time to connect with parts we’ve separated from, been separated from. In time to find the essence of who we are.

Energy Sex

Every time we look into each other’s eyes, energy travels from me to you, you to me.
Every kiss, every touch, energy.
I breathe your breath into me, I take your essence, I give you mine.
Every touch, energy.
We go deeper into each other.
There’s a dance of light and colour between us, unseen, yet known.

Holding the Place to be Met

From a place in my heart comes the ancient and sacred practice of holding, of resting my hands on your body.
In stillness, deep stillness.
In reverence.
In love.

For over 25 years I’ve been teaching, exploring and experiencing in the worlds of touch and massage.
In this I’ve seen that the expressions of touch are limitless, and that not all touch is movement.
There is such power, such possibility in stillness.
In holding, holding someone, holding somewhere on their body, resting your hands on them.
In that touch, in the breath.
In softening my hands on your body, touching from my heart.
There’s a melting into each other, an opening, a softening.

The Desire…

The desire to awaken is deep
The desire to surrender is deep
The desire for the wild is deep

Within us, men and women, is such a deep sexuality.
A sexuality that is a portal to experience the Divine. A sexuality that has a wildness, the playground of the beast. A sexuality that encompasses and expresses so many aspects of who we are. A sexuality that in its expression is a path to freedom. A sexuality that is connected to, that opens the heart, and the Heart within the heart.
A sexuality that is one of the keys to higher states of awareness.
And many of us simply scratch the surface.

Naked Freedom

Naked Freedom, Naked Sex.

Naked sex?
Isn’t all sex naked?
Most of the time, sometimes it’s partially clothed, sometimes it’s in a costume, sometimes it’s just pulling something down, pulling something aside.
And there’s more.

Naked is standing revealed, open, owning who we are, the things we enjoy, the things that arouse us, interest us, the things we’re curious about.

The Power of a Woman

I’ve been teaching, exploring and experiencing in the wonderful and limitless worlds of sensuality and sexuality for over 25 years.

In this time there is something I’ve seen so often, and at the moment more so.
So many women have such a powerful, deep, strong, wild, fiery sexuality.
So many women have had glimpses, seen and experienced this in some way and have suppressed it, hidden it, repressed it and not allowed it expression.
There’s fear, there’s guilt, there’s shame and embarrassment.
There’s a society that judges and suppresses female sexuality and its power.
There’s a society that fears female sexuality and its power.
There’s a society that fears Yoni, its beauty, mystery and power.

The deep experiences do not happen in 5 minutes, there are no shortcuts to ourselves.
There are no shortcuts to our hearts, to our souls, to understanding, experiencing the power of our sexual energy, our vitality.

The Erotic Space of Possibility

I’d like to share an experience I had recently with a woman on a journey of healing and growth.
We’ve been working together for a while and we’ve gone deep.
It’s time that makes the depth possible, patience, willingness and commitment, to ourselves, to our bodies, hearts, to our journey.
The deep experiences do not happen in 5 minutes, there are no shortcuts to ourselves.
There are no shortcuts to our hearts, to our souls, to understanding, experiencing the power of our sexual energy, our vitality.

An Introduction

It’s time for a re-introduction.
The past month has been a time of integration of a lot of learning, experiencing, exploring, contemplating.
Going within, and from there being able to share more with you.

I’m a Conscious Sexuality Practitioner, with some Tantra, based in South Africa.
I work online and in person, with men and women, singles and couples of all orientations.

The Path of Sensual Surrender

After doing and teaching, and receiving (not nearly enough), massage, so many different expressions, for over 25 years, I’ve seen how the body, the touch is a beautiful path to surrender.

On many paths we talk about the power of surrender.
Being deeply present in our body allows us to be in the experience, in the feeling, in the sensation.
We drop through the layers of the mind, the layers of thought.

Performers or Lovers

For years I have been helping men with performance issues, premature ejaculation and erection problems.
Something landed for me recently with this work, and the clue was in the question, or the problem.
That’s how so many men see sex.
It’s a performance.
It’s not about pleasure.
Yes they’ll have an orgasm, whether that’s early, whether they can control it or not.
But it’s about performing.
And pleasure is far down the list of why men have sex.