For over 25 years on my journey into Conscious Sexuality I’ve been learning about men and male sexuality.
Firstly by going into my own Sexuality and sensuality, and then by spending so much time with men in a work space.
A great deal of this space has been helping men with sexual issues, love issues, intimacy issues.
I’ve worked with men who have lost their prostate through cancer, men who have lost relationships and marriages, men who struggle with sexual issues across the board.
One of the deepest things I’ve come to see, and how much this impacts on many men in so many ways, is how hard it is for us to receive.
What’s interesting is that I’ve worked with as many gay and bi men, as straight, who have the same issues.
It’s about men, all of us.
Part of Cl-iteracy, which is to be clitorally literate.
To be literate with something is to know it, to have knowledge of it. And to be able to read it, to understand it.
That on its own is a lot. To know her clitoris, this pearl of pleasure. To know its anatomy, to know how its context, how it connects to a woman, to her body, her heart. And to know how to pleasure, the limitless possibilities of pleasure, this jewel. Which is what the French call her clitoris, bijou, a jewel.
TThere’s a thing with sex, as soon as we’re inside someone, or someone is inside us, to move.
It’s almost as if our pelvis has a life, a will of its own, as if we’re programmed to move.
It might not be easy, because for most of us, sex is about sensation. And the more sensation we have, the more we want.
Yes, it feels good. And when you learn to move in many different ways it feels amazing.
It takes consciousness, connection with your body, presence.
Tears on my chest
I sat with a man in Yab-Yum, holding him, naked chest to naked chest, heart to heart.
We sat in stillness and breathed, coming into our bodies, softening into each other, into the warmth of our skins, into presence.
I began to rock him, to slowly move his body.
We softened into each other, into relaxation, into the breath, into the movement.
I felt the vibration deep inside of him, felt it rise to his heart, felt his body tremble.
I felt his tears on my chest.
My heart melted.
The longing for love is the longing to belong
To know that have a home in the arms that hold you
With the heart that beats alongside yours
In the rhythm of breath
With eyes that see you
At the opening of her Yoni, pause.
Before you enter her, pause.
Be still, so still.
And so much happens in this stillness, this moment of quiet.
In this moment, this stillness, there’s a listening to your lover, to her body, to her heart.
You’ll only hear it, feel it, in the stillness.
You’re feeling for her to open for you, to welcome you, to draw you in with the invitation of softening.
And the presence of the head of your Lingam is showing your desire for her.
I was thinking about how much of our sexual experience is in the category of hard and tight.
Hard cocks, tight vaginas.
Hard and tight is a space of pressure, a space of performance, a space of judgment and comparison.
It’s a space of fantasy and illusion.
It’s a space of pressure.
It’s a space with no heart, with no spirit, with no intimacy, with no energy.
It’s a space of almost using someone else’s body to masturbate, and we call it sex.