THE BEAUTIFUL ART OF BECOMING A SACRED LOVER
This week I’m sharing a webinar which includes some of the oral pleasure and penetrative practices.
When we do this, and we look at going deeper, beyond the technique, phrases like sacred sexuality, sacred pleasure, YoniLingam worship come up.
They’re phrases we sometimes bandy about without really considering them, and what they mean.
CONSCIOUS SEXUALITY, CONSCIOUS LIFE
There’s a definition of Conscious Sexuality that I work with that has much to offer.
It’s this, To be present during sex, and to allow whatever arises to be there.
It’s amazing how 1 element, presence, changes so much in our pleasure experience.
THE VOCABULARY OF THE LANGUAGE OF PLEASURE
I had some music on in the background the other day and a line from a song vibrated a strand of creativity inside of me.
It was a Tina Turner song, the line was ‘You speak the language of love like you know what it means.’
The connection for me was The Language of Pleasure.
ON MY OWN, EASY, WITH A PARTNER, HMMM…
A woman came to see me a while ago, sharing something that’s actually quite common.
She couldn’t, had never, had an orgasm with a partner.
She’d been married, had had lovers, had tried hook-ups, never with a partner.
On her own, yes, easy.
SEXUAL WELLNESS, THE SHIFT TO POWERFUL FREEDOM
There’s a phrase coming up recently, a concept that’s going to be around more and more.
Sexual Wellness.
I was thinking about it, and it got me to thinking that our natural sexual state is wellness.
A LOVER’S TOUCH, THE ART AND SKILL OF SENSUAL AND EROTIC MASSAGE
Next weekend in Johannesburg, I’m sharing one of my signature workshops, A Lover’s Touch, The Art of Sensual and Erotic Massage.
It’s the beginning of a journey that has no limits. After more than 25 years of exploring Touch, of experiencing the depths it can take us to, of what’s possible, the sensations, the feelings, the energy, the ways to touch, I can say that with amazement.
WHOSE ORGASM IS IT? (AND DOES IT MATTER?)
Orgasms, all kinds, Clitoral, G-Spot, A-Spot, P-Spot, U-Spot, Cervical, Blended, Expanded, Anal, Breast, Ears, Toes…Are fantastic!
They do so much for us, give us so much, have so many benefits, physically, mentally, emotionally, chemically, spiritually…
GET OFF THE AGENDA INTO THE FREEDOM OF PLEASURE
Most of us, for most of our lives, have been living with someone else’s sexual agenda.
It’s been the porn industry’s agenda, religion’s agenda, the beauty industry’s agenda, the medical agenda, the psychological agenda, a partner’s agenda, the ‘normal’ agenda, a political agenda.
EXPANDED ORGASM – THE SUBTLE POWER OF PLEASURE
And in this state of orgasmic being, which is different to having an orgasm, this is where so much happens.
This is where we directly experience our sexual energy, and feel its power.
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
If you’re not making your lover feel like the most beautiful woman on earth, you’re not doing it right.
If you’re not making your lover feel like the most important woman on earth, you’re not doing it right.
If you’re not making your lover feel this way, every day, why are you there?
CONVERSATIONS ABOUT PLEASURE…BEING RUSHED
‘I was thinking about the experiences I’ve had with you, which were some of the most powerful I’ve had in my life. One of the elements that made them so deep was that there was no rush. In a few ways. And I realised how many sexual experiences I’ve had that were rushed.’
THE SENSUAL PENETRATION OF THE SUN
I spent some delicious time yesterday in the sensual practice of sun-bathing.
This is part of the wonder-full world of eco-sexuality. In this, the earth, nature becomes our lover. We make love on, we make love with the earth, with the elements.
RECEIVING YOU IN TOUCH
I’ve been teaching, exploring, learning, developing touch for a long time now.
As well as all the experiences, I’m deeply interested in the philosophy of touch, what happens when we touch, in all the ways that we do.
I’ve seen how touch, the way we touch is an expression of our inner world. It shows how intimate we are, how closed we are, how vulnerable we are.
MAKING CLITORAL LOVE
There’s a pattern we tend to have with a clitoris.
When we find it, which for some people is still a challenge.
It’s a pattern with your own, and with someone else’s.
When we find it we rub it, lick it, hard, harder, fast, faster.
To get to the orgasm.
To make someone come.
A CONSCIOUS MAN, A CONSCIOUS LINGAM
‘I was having sex with my husband a while ago and all I wanted was for him to be more present, to touch me with more awareness.
I just wanted to feel him, not be in this pattern we’ve had for so long.
I wanted him to be conscious in our lovemaking.’
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
For me, this journey of Conscious Sexuality has always been about including everyone.
Consciousness is about everyone, everything.
Conscious Sexuality is the pleasure expression of everyone of us.
Sacred Sexuality is the expression of all of us, in life, wherever we are.
We’re no less sacred at any moment in life than at any other moment.
THE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR SEXUALITY
As important as healing is, and of course it is, we’ve become obsessed, even addicted to healing.
Which means we’ve become obsessed with problems, fixing, with needing to be fixed.
THE CONNECTED MAGIC OF THE AFTER-GLOW
There’s a part of sex, a part of lovemaking that so many of us miss out on.
It’s a part of the experience that is so rich, so intimate, has so many qualities and gifts.
Sometimes we call it after-glow.
Which is appropriate.
It glows, from within us, from our bodies, from our hearts.
THE TOUCH THAT WANTS NOTHING
There is a touch that wants nothing
And wanting nothing
It becomes a touch of permission
It becomes a touch of liberation
It becomes a touch of love.
LIVING FROM THE HEART OF LOVE
Thinking about love, thinking about the difference between falling in love, the feeling of love, of loving someone.
And living with Love, as a force in life.
As an energy in life.
THE SUBLIME ART OF FINGER *******
One of my favourite authors, Tom Robbins, passed away recently.
One of my favourite quotes of his, from Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, ‘ Finger F****ing is an art, men indulge in it, women excel at it.’
LESSONS IN SACRED SEXUALITY 5
Come with me, she said, and I’ll show you how nature makes love.
And if you watch, if you feel, nature will teach you to be a lover.
She is here, right before your eyes, all around you.
In her gentleness, in her playfulness, in her elements, in her power, in her strength.
WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING, TO LOVE, TO PLEASURE, TO LIFE?
There’s a question I’ve been asking on workshops for a while now.
We begin the events with everyone introducing themselves, sharing a little of why they’re there, what they’re there for etc.
Then comes this question, What are you bringing?
Over time I’ve come to see the expansiveness of this, and how it moves into so many aspects of life.
DANCING FROM PATTERN TO PLEASURE
The way that we have sex is the way that we live.
In patterns.
In sexual terms what that means is that we do what we do, we follow our pattern.
We kiss in the same way, we touch in the same way, we do the same things in the same way.
MAKING TIME FOR PLEASURE, IT’S IMPORTANT
Oftentime, making time for pleasure
Means it happens
Means we’re able to meet in pleasure
Oftentime, waiting for the spontaneous
Means we wait
Oftentime, making time for pleasure
Means fulfilment
THE VIBRANT CAPACITY OF LOVE
There’s a pattern that emerges in many relationships.
I’ve got you.
And so much stops.
There’s a switch that gets turned off in so many relationships.
I’ve got you.
And so much stops.
THE SACRED INTENTION OF THE PENETRATION
It’s easy for a man to penetrate a woman with his Lingam, with his c&ck.
It’s easy for a man to penetrate a woman’s body.
It’s easy for a man to penetrate a woman’s body with his tongue, his fingers.
It’s easy.
THE CONVERSATIONS OF PLEASURE, LOVE AND LIFE
A while ago I was giving a talk at an event and a woman there said, ‘I could never have that kind of discussion with my partner.’
And this was a comment on a piece I shared a while ago, ‘And sadly enough it’s so many of us are struggling to open up to people we love the most.’
WELCOME TO PLEASURECRAFT, FLIGHT 2025
Welcome to PleasureCraft, Flight 2025
This is your captain speaking
On this journey we’ll be cruising at various altitudes that will take us down into the underworld and up to the heights of ecstasy
We ask that you begin by loosening your body and opening your mind
THE POSSIBILITY OF THE PATH OF PLEASURE
A while ago someone asked me why I was, in their perception, ‘seemingly obsessed’ with pleasure.
Now most social media comments can be taken with a pinch of salt, I gave this some thought.
On the surface that’s what I do, I teach about pleasure.
THE SENSUAL YOGA OF YAB-YUM
And in all the ways of touching there is something so simple, yet so deep.
So simple that we often overlook it.
So simple that we bypass it to get to ‘the good stuff.’
Holding.
Holding another.
THE CONVERSATION OF THE BODY IN TOUCH
One of the most beautiful expressions of touch, of conscious touch, is connection.
To touch as an expression of connection, an expression of intimacy.
To touch with the intention of the conversation of our bodies.
A CONSCIOUS EROTIC EXPERIENCE
There is a woman on a bed, she’s blindfolded, her hands are tied. Her partner is sitting at her head.
SUCH IS AN EXPRESSION OF SACRED SEXUALITY
There’s a beautiful concept of a Conscious Lingam, as well, of course, of a Conscious Yoni.
There’s also a beautiful concept of a Sacred Lingam, Sacred Yoni.
THE DIVINE POSSIBILITY OF YONI OPENING
At the moment many women are reaching out with a desire to have deeper, more fulfilling experiences.
For some women it’s about being able to have sex without pain.
For some women it’s about having an orgasm.
For some women it’s about feeling desire.
HEALING THE WHOLE (SEXUAL) BODY
I work with people on journeys of sexual, sensual, erotic healing, learning, exploring, growing.
I’m interested in depth and connection on these journeys rather than quick-fix, surface answers that so much of our world looks for, and so much on the internet promises.
THE MEDICINE OF THE PLEASURE TOUCH
Once you’ve experienced The Pleasure Touch
Once you’ve experienced The Conscious Touch
Once you’ve experienced Sacred Touch
You’ll know
You’ll know the medicine of this touch.
THE SENSUAL TOUCH OF GENEROSITY
I’ve been teaching and doing massage, touch, bodywork, in many ways for over 25 years.
I’ve also been thinking about, writing about it. And in this time we get to deep places, subtle places, we get to the qualities of touch.
FIRE SEX
I was thinking about Hard Sex and Fire Sex.
They’re not the same thing.
Fire Sex is presence.
Fire sex is my entire body, my eyes, my mouth, my throat, my voice, my heart, my belly, my Lingam, my pelvis, my legs.
SOFT-C&CK S*X, SOFT HEART S*X
We’ve been talking about Soft-C&ck Sex, and something emerged as I was thinking about this.
Soft-C&ck S*x, Soft-Heart S*x.
And this doesn’t necessarily mean not having an erection.
THE POWER OF MEN RECEIVING, GENTLY, SLOWLY
What I share, I share from what I experience in my work, in sessions and workshops, the questions that people ask.
I love the discussions, and what comes from them, the work and workshops, the practices, and more and more I see the invitation in these.
THE DELICIOUS FREEDOM OF SOFT-C&CK SEX
One of the most limiting definitions of male sexuality and male pleasure is an erection.
The bigger the better, the harder the better.
And women have bought into this as much as men.
IF YOU WANT TO GO DEEP, GO SLOW
If you want to go deep
Go slow
If you want to go deep
Go soft
If you want to go deep
Stay there
If you want to go deep
Let it flow
From your heart
A SOFTER WAY OF PLEASURE
Opening is expansion
Softness is welcoming
Gentleness is tender
Intimacy is vulnerability
Breathing into the heart
Consciousness is presence
Energy is flow
THE IMPORTANT PRESENCE OF PLEASURE
‘I wanted to thank you for taking the time with me yesterday.
Half of my problem is that I know I take long, and I shy away because I feel no one will want to put that effort in for me.’
YOU, YOUR YONI, YOUR LINGAM, DESERVE MORE
Your Yoni or your Lingam, you, deserve more.
They deserve more than simply being rubbed, by ourselves, by others, mostly hard and fast to the orgasm of release.
Your Yoni/Lingam deserve more than simply penetrating, being penetrated, to the friction, to the orgasm of release.
4 SECRETS OF SENSATION
As a sex educator and healer, a workshop facilitator and massage teacher there’s a question I get asked lots.
How do we have better sex?
Now what better sex actually is is its own discussion.
SACRED YONI, BEAUTIFUL YONI, YONI WORSHIP
For most of my life, most of this journey, which has been more than 25 years, I have worshipped Yoni, worshipped Women, loved Yoni, loved Women.
Goddess.
All of you, whether you know it or not, whether you’ve lived it or not.
THE EROTIC POWER OF A WHISPER
I’d like to share an erotic possibility with you.
I use the word possibility because it’s not a technique, that would reduce it to mechanics.
Maybe experience would be a better word, but I still prefer possibility because of where it can take you.
SEXUAL AWAKENING, LIFE AWAKENING
Recently I’ve been doing a lot of work with people, men and women, whose sexuality is waking up.
This isn’t something new, I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’d like to share some of the elements of this with you.
Sexual Awakening is stepping into the field of possibility.
