10 cm of Cloth
One of the experiences I offer is called Water Flow Massage.
It takes place in a heated pool, it’s a touch experience, an intimate and connecting experience. For some people it’s deeply healing. Most people get into the water nude, it’s not required, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
In Johannesburg we have a dedicated pool for this experience.
A while ago I was doing this in a different city, and found a pool to use. The pool was part of a swim school, we were there at night, nobody else around. A while after the event I was teaching there again and wanted to book the venue. I was turned down, people had complained that there were nude people in the pool.
Their focus was the 10 cm of Cloth, of a bathing suit that covers the genitals.
This is a small example in a world where sexuality, and the many ways it’s expressed, is under attack, almost constantly in many ways.
From the religious oppression of women, to abortion, contraception, social-media censorship, same-sex relationships being outlawed, sex-worker prohibitions, harassment, credit card companies controlling website content and more.
From legislation, public suppression to intolerance and bigotry, sexuality is a constant target for so many people, so many agendas.
It’s easy and simplistic to say that it all stems from fear, and yet there’s an element of truth in it.
10 cm of Cloth, on a bigger scale.
Besides getting involved in lobbying, in demonstrations, protests etc, there is something we can do.
We can remove our own 10 cm of Cloth.
We can heal our sexuality.
And in the healing we bring our own sexuality from the hidden, from the dark, from the hurt, into openness.
The healing journey is not only ‘fixing a sexual problem.’
It’s owning, claiming, reclaiming, our bodies, our genitals, our sexuality.
It’s making it normal, healthy and actually vital, to acknowledge ourselves as sexual beings.
To have desire.
To be curious, interested in sex.
To want to explore and experience.
To move beyond labels, inhibitions, fears, judgement and shame.
To want to connect, to want to feel.
To be free in the expression of a wide, broad, open sexuality.
When we do this, there’s an impact.
Our families, our friends, our children, our community.
When we can be more open, everyone feels that.
When we make a space to talk, to ask questions, it makes it possible for all of us.
There’s a Tantric concept that as much as we do a practice for ourselves, we do it for all of humanity.
When we heal something, grow, expand, the connection we have with all of life feels that in some way.
And when, in our small way, which is not actually so small, but in our way, something changes.
And the more of us there are, the more there will be.
Every one of us who comes to a sexuality workshop, anywhere in the world.
Every one of us who engages in a process of healing, of growing, of learning.
Every one of us…
Our own 10 cm of Cloth.
It’s real, and this makes me chuckle, I was going to write barefoot, and I think about bare-assed, real basic stuff.
Our stuff.
And in this basic stuff, something deep.
I talk about the transformational power of sexuality.
Firstly because of the freedom we find in our sexuality, then the freedom in our hearts and minds.
Because our sexuality isn’t in a vacuum, because it’s connected to every part of who we are, when we live with more of this freedom, we may begin to question more of the structures of life.
Political, religious, social, educational, economic…
How do we live with greater freedom, with more pleasure, with more awareness in all of life.
How do we bring our own 10 cm of Cloth into the light?
Bring it from being dirty, hidden, shameful, into standing in the sunlight, removing the cloth and proclaiming ‘Here I am, Beautiful, Open, Me.’
I’m teaching a range of workshops in Ireland in June, and in some ways there’s a similarity with South Africa, sexually repressed, guilty, hidden.
The Cloth there is a lot bigger than 10 cm.
So many people say things like, ‘I’d love to come to a workshop, I’m scared someone will see me.’ We’re all there for the same reason, to learn, to heal, to grow, to connect.
I see you, you see me.
We drop the Cloth.
We connect.
We bring something into the light of day, or the moonlight, we bring it out of fear, out embarrassment, into acceptance.
There are so many people there, and in so many countries, longing for the opportunity to remove the cloth.
I’ve had enquiries about workshops in many countries with this fear, control, suppression, and I’d love to come and share with you.
It’s not waiting for someone else to do it.
It’s about us, today.
It’s about our own 10 cm of Cloth.
It takes courage to remove this cloth, and it takes love, love for ourselves, love for life, love for possibility.
That’s how we change it for our children, so they don’t have to live with our sexual stuff.
Allowing more of who we are, with greater joy, with greater openness, in all of life.
Pleasure becomes a path of possibility.
