A Conscious Pleasure Experience




A long time ago, I hadn’t been teaching for long, I was invited to a fantasy club, a place people went to explore their sexual fantasies.

I wanted to learn, explore and experience all that I could. For myself, for knowing who I was as a sexual being. This is a journey that is endless for all of us. It changes as we change, reveals more, takes us deeper into ourselves as we’re willing to see more.

And to learn, what people were doing, how to teach, what the elements of the experiences were, where do people go, what resources were available.

The night that I went I saw a woman on a bed, she was blindfolded, her hands were tied. Her partner was sitting at her head. There were 6 or 8 people, men and women, kneeling around the bed, all touching her, caressing her, stroking her. She was lost in the pleasure, her body turning this way and that, her hips rising, her breath quickening. Her partner was so engaged with her, breathing with her, his eyes so focused on her body, feeling her energy.

After a time everything slowed down, the touch slowed down, her breathing slowed down. The hands left her body, her hands were untied, she curled up into her partner. I could feel the intimacy, the pleasure, the energy, the love between them.


So much was happening in that space, in that experience.


Firstly there was freedom.

The freedom everyone there had given themselves to have the experience. To go beyond the conditioning, the patterning, the judgment of a society with a generally very narrow view of sex and pleasure, and the way, the context it should be in.


Then there was honouring of the space, of the couple, of each other, of the boundaries. The way she was touched, where she was touched.


Next there was presence, intimacy. Everyone there was in the moment, in their touch. It was palpable. There was such a deep awareness of her, of him, of each other.


There was an offering, in the giving, in the receiving, in the sharing. Giving in the receiving, receiving in the giving. The sharing, allowing everyone to experience themselves, with each other, through each other.


There was the touch.

A language, a conversation of love. The touch, the connection to her body, to their bodies, the sensation of their hands on her skin, of her body under their hands, the curves, the valleys, the heat, the welcoming of her body to the touch. The acknowledgment that the touch brought, of her freedom, of her desire, to be seen in that, felt in that, met in that, celebrated in that.


There was eroticism, and the heightened senses of arousal. An awareness of the touch, the sensation, the sight, the noises, the aromas. There was a savouring of this delicious feast.


There was the energy.

A bubble of consciousness, of connection created by everyone.

A timeless moment that they were all a part of. Each one a sensation, a breath, in creating the experience.


All of these, in the way it happened, made the experience one of worship, sacred. There was a quality of reverence.


Wherever we go in life, whatever we do, these elements can be there. Intimacy, awareness, presence, beauty, savoring.

This is Conscious Sexuality, it’s about being, not only when we’re doing sex.

This is Heart-Centred Sensuality, it’s about the way we live, how we live.

It’s when the experiences that we have, in every part of life, come into our sexuality and sensuality.

It’s when what we experience in that space comes into every other part of life.

It’s when our inner world, and the world outside of us, become one.


When we drop our stories, our judgments, our inhibitions, our beliefs, our limitations, not only about sexual experiences, wherever they come up.

It might be that we think we can’t dance, or meditation or yoga isn’t for us, or that we can’t learn to cook, whatever it may be, we open ourselves to possibility.

We enter the experience with an intention, for exploration, learning, healing, growing, experiencing.

We free ourselves from the conditioned patterns we live with.

It becomes about each moment filled with limitless possibility…


In the mini-retreat I’ve created for next week in Johannesburg there are opportunities to explore these ideas, to learn more about yourself in pleasure, to experience more of yourself, of each other, in your body, your breath, your heart. Next week is also the last Water Flow Massage for the year.