We talk about this a lot, being present in pleasure.
Being present in sex.
Definitely, absolutely, so important.
We talk about breathing to be present, how to touch in a way, that giving and receiving, we’re present. We talk about coming into presence with eye-gazing, Yab-Yum, dancing.
All wonderful things.
I teach them.
The definition of Conscious Sexuality I work with is this.
To be present in pleasure, in lovemaking, and to allow whatever’s there to arise, whatever’s there to emerge.
Here’s the key.
Whatever.
In presence, in intimacy, in sex, in pleasure, it’s not only the pleasure that’s there. It’s not only the love, the tenderness, the passion.
In presence there will be anger, insecurity, frustration, resentment…
All of these, and more, will arise.
And here we begin to see the medicine of pleasure, the portal of pleasure.
In presence, in allowing these to arise, to come to awareness, they invite us to something beautiful and powerful.
They invite us to feel, to acknowledge.
Maybe to see where they come from, what they need, to heal, to release, to let go.
Maybe they open a door to some deep patterns.
Maybe they bring a gift of change, of expansion.
For to be present is to be present with everything.
And the vulnerability of pleasure, of touch, of sex, of orgasm, is what opens us to it all.
Teargasms, angergasms and more.
I’ll share an experience I had with a lover with you.
We were making love, I was moving so slowly, the sensations were delicious, absolutely lost in our bodies, the connection, the feeling.
She wanted something else, harder, faster. Pushing against me, commanding. I couldn’t go there then, my energy was nowhere near that. And it brought such anger to the surface for me.
We stopped, began to explore it.
So much of my life is giving pleasure to others. Here I was, in an experience so beautiful for me, and I was taken out of it.
The tools we have allowed us to use it, use the energy of it, use the power of it, to explore, to a deep release for me, a deepening of the intimacy between us.
The medicine of pleasure.
Our sexuality is so much more, when we’re there with openness, with awareness, with allowing.
I do a lot of bodywork, touch, massage, as part of the journeys I share. It’s so important that whatever comes up is welcome. Pleasure is the container, and the way in. The openness of the body, of the heart is what allows it to emerge.
The intention, vital, the intention of presence is the invitation.
This idea of presence is what takes us from purely goal-oriented, getting to the end, performative sex to the intimacy of presence.
For it is intimacy that takes us deeper.
This is where we feel more, where both the intensity and the subtlety dance.
Where tenderness, connection, love, the delicious, the wonder-full, arise in more ways. Simply put, we feel more.
Of everything.
And when we allow the waves, whatever they hold, to flow within us, through us, between us, we get to feel a richness, a quality of sensation and emotion with greater depth.
We free ourselves into the mystery of the moment and all the beauty it holds.
Come and explore, experience and learn, I invite you…
