Beyond Pleasure




There’s a fascinating idea in Conscious Sexuality that allows us to look at sexuality differently, and opens up a world of possibility.


It’s about going beyond pleasure.

For most people sex is about pleasure, about orgasm.

And I have to say that I am so pleased about that, as so much of my work is helping you have more pleasure, and so many of my workshops are about pleasure.


And there’s more, so much more.

However, as I said, for most people sex us about pleasure.

There’s a story to this, a context, which is usually in the space of attraction, of love, of a relationship of some description.

And in this context we come together to experience pleasure.


What happens if we take pleasure out as a goal?

It’s going to be there anyway because our genitals are involved. And we have all these amazing nerves and pleasure centre’s that are stimulated anyway.

But let’s go to a place where there’s more.

And in this more, as well as dropping the goal of pleasure, maybe we can drop the story and context as well.


What does this mean?

What happens if sex became about energy, about exploring some of the possibilities of sexual energy? About building that in the body to use for meditation, for creativity, for inspiration etc.

We can learn to direct the energy to specific places in the body that we might need it.

We can learn to channel it into creativity.

We can use this to reach altered states of consciousness, as a way to have a spiritual experience.

What happens if I’d like to focus on my heart during sex, go deeply into that energy by breathing, by putting all my intention on that center, and what’s happening in the rest of my body is secondary?


How about exploring different sensations in my body, in my yoni, in my lingam?

How about using sex as a tool for self-enquiry, what will different experiences bring up in me emotionally, what will they trigger, and how can I heal these?


How about these experiences being part of dropping the labels and limitations I may have accepted from others, or taken on myself?


With consciousness, with a clear intention, we become able to have an experience that goes beyond pleasure.


What makes this interesting is that I think we have to go deeply into pleasure first.

So many of us struggle with aspects of pleasure. So many women are not having orgasms, are having painful sex, are not able to let go, have suppressed their desire and their erotic fire.

So many men have reaction and ejaculation problems, are unable to let go, have suppressed their desire and erotic fire.

So many people, in a world of incredible stress struggle with libido issues, with intimacy, with being sexually authentic and engaged.


We have to go into pleasure first, heal those aspects of ourselves, express and explore them. We need to know who we are sexually.


We also need to explore consciousness, become aware of what holds us in patterns, the limitations we live with, the beliefs that keep us living conditioned lives.

Then we start to bring these together, and in this open the doors to a world of experiences that express our sexuality in a different way.


We don’t stop having pleasure.

We don’t stop going deeper into pleasure, as there is so much that is beautiful and powerful in these experiences.

We expand.

We expand ourselves.

We expand our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our energy.

We expand deeper into the mystery.