Eargasms and Expectations


Let’s begin with an Eargasm?

It’s an orgasm that comes, haha, there’s the pun, from having your ears stimulated.

No, you say, it can’t be!

Yes, I say, it happens!


A while ago a lover and I were kissing, touching, not sexually, gently, intimately.

I started giving a lot of attention to her ears, stroking, kissing, biting…and an Eargasm happened.


When I was teaching an Expanded Orgasm lesson a while ago I realised something I’d never thought of before.


Our expectations about sex, about the way an experience should be, should end, has a great deal to do with the way it actually happens.


If we let go of that, if we can allow it to flow, if we can get out of the orgasmic trap, we can have the most amazing pleasure experiences.


The orgasmic trap is one of the greatest limitations to deeper and higher pleasure.

Put simply, we’ve generally decided that there’s one criterion for a successful sexual experience, orgasm.

Firstly, this puts pressure on both of us. I have to make you come, you have to go along with that.

Then it becomes about a performance to make that happen.

And then it takes us out of the moment. The beautiful feelings, the delicious sensations are experienced in passing only. We’re focusing on what we have to do to get there, to that goal of orgasm.

We don’t allow ourselves to be present, to go into the subtlety, the depth, the nuances of absolute pleasure that are right there.

We want something else.

It’s orgasm or bust!


Go for bust.

It becomes about energy, about intimacy, about possibilities.

Worlds open to us, worlds of pleasure.

Eargasms, Toegasms and so much more in between those.

Our entire body becomes a landscape of pleasure.

We open to experiences that are sometimes breathtaking, sometimes so surprising we never thought it possible.



You see, we’re sensual and sexual beings. We’re filled with Pleasure Possibilities.

We’re wired for them.

Energy, sexual energy, fills us.

Our genitals, beautiful as they are, are an element of our sexuality.

All of us, if we allow it acknowledge it, is sexual, is sensual.


The more we drop the expectations, the more we allow our blissful nature, our essence, to wrap us in the beautiful moments of pleasure.


Expectations are of the mind.

Limited by what we think.

Knowledge is in the body, in our energy.

Wisdom is the expression of love, intimacy and pleasure.