Expanded Orgasm Workshop


I’ve always said that this was ‘an important workshop’, and I was thinking earlier about what that really means.

What makes it important is that it expands, haha, the perception we have on pleasure.

Fistly, for so many people sex is about orgasm. I think orgasms are fantastic, I love them. I love having them, in different ways, I love helping my clients and lovers have them. The thing is that when we focus solely on orgasms it often becomes about performance and pressure. The goal of having to have an orgasm creates stress. If it doesn’t happen we feel less than, inadequate, not skilled enough, not good enough as a lover, disappointed and so many more things that take us away from pleasure.

The next thing is that we live in patterns. Most of our patterns are subconscious. Our patterns are in our mind and in our body. For most of us, sex is an extremely patterned experience. We do the same thing in the same way. It works, or we think it works, it’s what we know, and it’s what we’re comfortable with. When we can become more conscious during sex and pleasure we actually choose and create the experiences. Expanded Orgasm is a Conscious experience of sexual energy, it takes us out of the pattern into presence.

The other thing the goal of orgasm does is it takes us away from being present. We focus so much on ‘getting there’, that we don’t allow ourselves to feel the feelings and sensations we’re experiencing now. We’re often more in our minds, our thoughts and fantasies than in our bodies.

When we have one criterion for a successful sexual experience, again, for most people orgasm, and that doesn’t happen, we think we’ve failed.

So as wonderful as orgasms are, there’s more.
And Expanded Orgasm is such a beautiful expression of more.
It’s about being in an orgasmic state, orgasm as verb more than noun. It’s about allowing waves of pleasure to move through the body, taking us far out into the ocean of the possibilities of pleasure.
An orgasm lasts 20, 30 seconds, maybe.
You can be in an orgasmic state for 20 or 30 minutes, even longer.

And, of course, someone is going to say, what about men.
When is started teaching this I developed some beautiful expressions of Expanded Orgasm for men, that really deepens, and expands, there it is again, male pleasure.

It becomes a gift you give your partner that deepens the intimacy between you. Because you’re so present during the experience. Presence is an element of intimacy. You’re really there, aware of their body, their breath, their energy. You’re touching them gently. You’re communicating. Your heart is open.
And you’re in the space of Expanded Orgasm.