I was thinking about foreplay.
I was thinking about how compartmentalized and, in a way, one-dimensional, so many of us experience that.
I was thinking about how limited the way we express this, in how little we use our bodies and our senses.
Our sensuality and our sexuality, when we allow it, when we open ourselves to all that we are, all that’s within us, is so vast, so wide. The pathways for us to experience ourselves and each other are so exciting, from the subtle to the inferno.
Similarly, there are so many, that we don’t think about, don’t know how to, don’t understand. So many ways for us to connect and feel.
Most of us ‘do’ foreplay something like this.
We touch, we kiss, we lick, we suck, we get to the ‘main event’, the penetration. As quickly as we can. The steps we follow are generally pretty patterned and conditioned. We do the same thing, in the same way. And we try and do it as quickly as we can. Spend as little time at each place as we can.
Hollywood style, porn style.
I think we don’t really understand what we’re doing, what building this fire is about. What opening the body, the heart, the energy is about. What each part of the body does. How everything we do is connected.
Here’s where the first level of compartmentalization comes in.
We do one thing at a time.
And when we don’t really take the time that our bodies need, we’re not doing a whole lot.
And we don’t really get, get at a level inside of us that actually changes what we do, the time it takes for a female body to become aroused, and what it needs for that to happen.
Think about this. The dance of the body, of sensation, of energy can be so different.
If we go from kiss to touch, to caress, to bite, to breathe, back to kiss, all over the body. A moment here, a moment there, the whole body at once, awakening.
Then expanding what we do.
Words are foreplay.
Meditation is foreplay.
Dance is foreplay.
Breath is foreplay.
Laughter is foreplay.
Intimacy is foreplay.
A pillow-fight is foreplay.
And the two biggest ones, presence and safety.
The one-dimensional pathway we follow is limited.
There is so much more.
Rhythm and tempo.
Sound and volume.
So many dimensions to explore.
Using more of our bodies to touch our lover with.
Spirals and curves, not straight lines, not this direct one place to another on the body as if it were a machine.
This body, our arousal, sensation, is so vibrant, so alive, so filled with desire.
It pulsates in wanting.
We live in patterns, we love in patterns.
Pleasure, the freedom of its expression, was never meant to be patterned. We’ve dumbed it down, put into a box. Because it’s easy to control that way. And we become easy to control. Easy to sell to.
The straight line, kissing, to breasts, to genitals, is so narrow. And it’s actually quite far from how we are, what’s possible within us. What life invites us into, offers us. What’s in our bodies, the world of unlimited sensation, feeling, energy.
Pleasure dances, all over the place.
It dips and spirals, turns back on itself. Now it’s slow, now it’s fast, now it’s subtle, now it’s loud, so loud. Now it’s still, beating, listening, pausing, gathering itself.
The ways we can connect are limitless.
It takes courage to step out of our patterns.
It takes courage to invite our lovers into something more.
It takes courage to step off the line, of the straight and narrow, literally and figuratively.
So many of us are tired of mediocre, unfulfilled sex.
There is so much that’s so exciting within us, longing for us to meet it.
Come and explore, expand.
I invite you…
