Exploring Sexual Healing



There is much of our world that has taken what is sacred and made it dirty.

There is much of our world that has taken what is light and made it dark.

There is much of our world that has taken what is powerful and made it weak.

There is much of our world that has taken what is sacred and despoiled it.

There was a time when we knew the power of sexuality.
There was a time when people knew that if you control sexuality, you control people.
More than that, if you control women, you control the power, you control everything.
And so it began.

The repression, the shame, the guilt.
The destruction of the True Feminine.
The Goddess became a myth, living in name only.
The Lingam became a weapon.
The Yoni withered.

And as men grew further from the truth, they grew further from themselves. Sex and spirit grew further apart.

The experience of pleasure became shallow, it lost connection and dimension. The body, the heart, the spirit separated.

And so we began the journey, not back, rather forward, rather within.

Within to ourselves.

Within to pleasure.

Within to intimacy.

Within to the heart.
The sacred energy of pleasure is the key.
The body holds the secret pathways that lead to the mystical field of union.
Consciousness is the guide.
It grows as we open to hearing, to feeling, to knowing the inner voice.

We take the profane and we make it holy.
We go into the darkness and bring it into the light.
We see the beauty that we are.
Over the last few weeks my understanding of The Feminine has opened something new within me.

Most of my work, or at least where the journey begins for so many people is in healing.

There’s a problem or hurt or pain or issue that people would like to change, and we begin a journey. These journeys tend to expand into all of life.

Because our sexuality is connected to every aspect of our being, and so many aspects of ourselves play out in our sexuality.

Because our sexuality is inextricably connected to our heart.

Because our sexuality is in the context of our lives.


The model I work with is that we live with patterns.

These patterns become the pains and blockages in our lives.

When we just try and ‘fix the problem’, we focus on the problem. Everything is about fixing the problem. We chase the answer, we want to analyse it, break it down, know where it comes from, who did this, who did that, this was done to me, this is what I did, the story, the past.


When we take a different approach, have a different view, we can do this differently.

We can understand that this is a pattern that comes out of our experiences and beliefs, our judgments and conditioning.

These patterns have become set in our minds and in our bodies. And all that we do in these situations, is express the pattern.


The issues, blockages, hurts, pains, patterns are but one expression in the field of possibility.

When we can expand ourselves, when we can open to more than one way to be, more than one way to look at things, we allow change, we allow healing, we allow growth.

We don’t force it, we don’t try and make it happen.

We do our work, in whatever path we choose, we do the practices, we learn, we become more of our essence nature.

And things change.


We connect with our inner wisdom. We connect with more of life.

And from this space there is change.

It flows, in the way that it needs, in a way that allows us to integrate it, understand it, in a way that allows it so find it’s home within us, connect with what it needs to within us, find a context and meaning.


This past week, as happens so often, I’ve had calls and emails from quite a few women who struggle to have orgasms, are not having orgasms, can have orgasms on their own and not with a partner.

When we just try and fix that we focus on the problem, not having orgasms, and everything we do that doesn’t change that, that doesn’t change it quickly enough, that doesn’t change it in the way we think it should happen, what we’re doing isn’t working, and we go deeper into it. The blockage becomes stronger, we get drawn more into fighting, struggling, resisting. The more we push, the more the resistance, and the more we get stuck in the place where struggle and resistance meet.


When we see that this, not having orgasms, is but one expression of your sexuality, and there are more, we can begin to open to possibility.

When we can do things that allow us to have more pleasure during sex, feel more in our bodies, more connected to the heart, feel more sensation, see ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality differently, things will change.

We’re changing the pattern by connecting with an inner wisdom in our bodies.

As we do this an understanding of it emerges from within us. We see where it fits, what it connects to, where else in our lives that pattern plays out and expresses itself.

We allow.

It’s not struggling, it’s not forcing, it’s not trying to make it happen.

It’s welcoming an expanded expression of your pleasure.

It’s allowing your body to do what it knows how to do.

You are orgasmic.

Things happened that made that expression difficult.

We may know what they are, we may not. We may go into the past and unravel the story, we may not.

And when, and if we do, that doesn’t always mean we know how to change it.

Choosing more pleasure, choosing a different way to be more loving to myself during sex allows something else to be there.

And orgasms will happen.


There’s a shift in this, a shift in the way we see healing.

And in time, a shift in the way we see life, love, the world, and ourselves.

More of life can flow with us, through us.

And it all comes from choosing to love ourselves more.