Friction Sex, Energy Sex

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Most people have what we call friction sex. It’s friction, simply.

One body part rubbing against another.

It creates friction.

(And as I write that something I’ve never quite seen before comes to me, I’ll share it a little further down in the piece.)

For most people the goal of friction sex is orgasm, hopefully for both, or all partners.

Even on our own we have friction sex, masturbating to orgasm.

It’s about the release that that kind of orgasm brings.

It’s something we ‘achieve’, make happen.

 

What just came to me is that when the only sex we have is friction sex, there has to be underlying emotional, and energy friction. Thinking about this, which I’ve never done before in this way, I see how that manifests in so many relationships I’ve worked with, and people’s lives.

I talk about how our sexuality is linked to every other aspect of ourselves, and how so many other areas of life are expressed in our sexuality. When there’s friction sexually, there’s friction emotionally and energetically, and that will in turn play out in sex. That understanding excites me, the healing possibilities from that are great.

Friction causes stress, friction causes distress.

I see how this expresses itself in so many people I work with.

 

It brings to mind a piece I wrote some time ago that was called ‘Just Because You’re Having Orgasms Doesn’t Mean You’re Sexually Fulfilled’.

Fulfilment is much deeper, it has a deep heart connection, it’s about intimacy, love.

It’s about energy.

When our focus is on orgasm, it’s on what we have to do to make the orgasm happen.

That’s it, that’s all.

We’re often not present, we’re not connected, we’re not in the sensation, the feelings, the energy.

We’re doing what we need to get to that point, we’re in the fantasies, the thoughts, whatever triggers we need to make the orgasm happen.

It’s contractive.

Energy can’t move in the body.

 

The fulfilment we seek is deeper.

It’s in our body, in our hearts, in our intimacy, and it’s in our energy.

It’s in our presence.

Sexual Energy is Life Energy, it’s vitality.

It’s expansive, opening, creative, generating, healing.

It has so many expressions, so many ways of being experienced.

It’s allowing, not forcing or chasing.

It’s connecting, to ourselves, to our lovers, and to life.

The deeper we go into sexual energy experiences the more we see it as life making love through us, with us.

We can use our sexual energy, direct it, create with it, connect with it.

If we seek the connection between sex and Mystery, we’ll only find it in the deep energy experiences.

If we seek the depths of intimacy, of union, we’ll only find it in the energy experiences.

If we seek the depths of ourselves, we’ll only find it in the energy experiences.

If we seek possibility, we’ll only find it in the energy experiences.

If we seek love, we’ll only find it in the energy experiences.

 

Here’s the important disclaimer.

Orgasms are great.

The way most people have them is limiting. When you start learning about, exploring and experiencing your sexual energy, you see how many more ways there are to have orgasms.

When you start learning about, exploring and experiencing your sexual energy, you see how much more there is.

When the goal of sex is orgasm, that’s it, one possibility. It happens or it doesn’t.

When the experience is about sexual energy, it literally, really, absolutely, is limitless.

And in this, in time, we come to see the unlimited possibility of being.

 

Thursday nights webinar, 8 pm CAT, is about Sexual Energy. It will include a few practices for you to experience your sexual energy. Please email me for the link, jonti@eroslife.co.za.