G-Spot, oh G-Spot


G-Spot, oh G-Spot


G-Spot, oh G-Spot, wherefore art thou?

I’ve sought you high

I’ve sought you low

I’ve sought you deep

I’ve sought you shallow

Long have my fingers quested

And even my lover has tested

On this endless task

And with frustration I ask

G-Spot, oh G-Spot, wherefore art thou?


It’s fascinating to see that as sexuality becomes more open and more information becomes available and accessible, that as many women are struggling with this as ever. I see as many women, even more, in my practice, asking do I have a G-Spot, where is it, why am I not having internal orgasms, what’s wrong with me?


These are big questions for many women, and it seems like there’s such pressure for all this to happen, and a judgement when it’s not, an inadequacy and a not good enough.


The pressure comes from a few places. One of them is the porn – model, which has become the default Model for so many people, men and women. We’ve just bought into the expectations of how ‘sex should be’, according to a fantasy representation that doesn’t have much to do with real people and real pleasure. The mainstream media has happily adopted this approach in terms of ‘what’s normal’, and if you’re not having those experiences then something’s wrong with you.


The next source of pressure is the goal – oriented experience sex has become, the goal being orgasm, squirting, threesomes, whatever it is that’s on the sexual bucket list. This creates a space of many people, men and women, doing things they’re not really comfortable with, feeling even more pressure, having less pleasure, and becoming disconnected from their own bodies and pleasure.


Then there’s the paradox of female sexuality. It’s everywhere, used for everything, we’re fascinated by it. But if you express the fullness of it as a woman the slut – shaming aspect of our culture is incredible and deep.


And that’s the source of many of these issues.

You have a G-Spot, and a whole lot of other amazing pleasure centres and nerves.

You can have pleasure experiences that are beyond what the movies and books describe.


On one level there is more access to sexuality, more resources and information.

And on another, a lot of it is not connected.

We’re not taught about pleasure connected to the heart. We’re not taught about claiming your body from the guilt, shame and embarrassment that came through no, or little, education that celebrated your body, your being. We’re not taught about sensuality, about going slow, about exploring, yourself and with others, we’re not taught about communication and we’re not taught how to claim ourselves as beings of beauty, power and pleasure.


So tissue in your Yoni that should be alive, awake and sensitive is numb, tender and even painful.

It holds the emotional hurts that often have nothing to do with sex.

It holds the not being good enough.

It holds the bowing to pressure of doing things you’re not ready for.

It holds the guilt, the anger, the shame and more.

It holds the lack of consent.

And more than that.

It often holds generational patterns, tribal patterns, religious patterns.

It holds what your mother wouldn’t acknowledge of herself, for we carry what our parents would not.

And it holds the pressure, the disappointment of not fulfilling a lover by not being able to do or be what they wanted.

It holds every time you were touched in way that hurt, with force, without gentleness.

It holds every time you felt abused in any way.

It sits in your body.

It sits on your heart.


To heal these is to heal so many aspects of yourself.

It’s about healing your body, your heart, your spirit.

It’s about freeing yourself on so many levels, in so many ways.

It’s about going deep into what was separated to connect, reconnect, claim, reclaim.

And it’s about pleasure, such deep enduring pleasure.


Heal, change, grow, release, learn, for you.

Not because you’ve been told that without this you’re less of a woman. Not because you’ve been told that you’re broken, that you need to be fixed.

For you.

To allow more of yourself.

All healing allows us greater authenticity, deeper intimacy and connection.

And, yes, more pleasure.

For yourself.

With compassion and love.


I have developed an online programme to help you connect with your G-Spot, heal aspects of your sexuality and have more pleasure by getting in touch with your body, your sexual energy and your heart. This is a 10 experiential lesson process that will deepen the connection you have with yourself a s a sensual and sexual being. Email for details: jonti@eroslife.co.za.