HEALING THE WHOLE (SEXUAL) BODY

I work with people on journeys of sexual, sensual, erotic healing, learning, exploring, growing.
I’m interested in depth and connection on these journeys rather than quick-fix, surface answers that so much of our world looks for, and so much on the internet promises.
One of the things that I love about sharing this is that at some point almost everyone says that they come to see that this has everything to do with sex, and nothing to do with sex.
And how much other aspects of life change.
This is a big, deep, wide topic, let’s look at just a few aspects.

Our sexuality is not in a vacuum, it’s not this little box that we take out in very specific circumstances and use, then put away again.
And for many of us, the box isn’t taken out often enough.
Our sexuality, our sensuality, our eroticism, is connected to the whole body.
It’s also connected to the mind, to the heart, to energy.
Even to our spirit.
So many of the patterns in our lives are in our sexuality, and so much of our sexuality plays out in our lives.
When we begin to heal our sexuality, we begin to heal our lives.

Our sexuality is an energy in the body, and energy needs to move, to flow.
If it’s blocked, like a river, it gets stagnant, a whole lot of gunk builds up that doesn’t allow the energy to move in the body, which keeps our experience limited, and patterned.
When our sexual center’s are not flowing, the energy can’t move.
When our solar plexus isn’t open, the energy can’t move.
When our heart isn’t open, and the disconnect between heart and sex is deep, the energy can’t move.
When our throat is blocked, when our voice can’t express itself, the energy can’t move.
It can’t get to the higher center’s in the body, creating deeper experiences, expanded awareness states.
As we clear these center’s, we’re clearing what sits there emotionally and physically.
Which often has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with sex.
An example, if we’re not expressing ourselves in life, asking for what we want, saying what we don’t want, we can’t do that in pleasure.
When we start to do it with pleasure, we start to do it more in life.

We live in patterns, patterns in the body, in the mind, in thoughts, in beliefs, in stories.
Conscious and subconscious.
So many of our fears, in life, in sex, our guilt, our shame, are linked.
They express themselves in our inhibitions, in our limitations, in our lack of creativity.
The fear of pleasure is the fear of life. It’s not only about sexual pleasure, it’s about the fullness of life.
Linked to deservability, to being good enough, to confidence, to power, to self-definition.

It’s connected to suppression, to repression, to a fear of expression, to an inner war of desire and fear.
Much of the fear comes from systems of control, often through guilt and shame, caused by religion, by culture, that’s more concerned with maintaining control, keeping us in line, sleeping sheep, rather than creativity, expressive beings of possibility.
The more we explore and experience our sexuality, the more we explore, and question, models of relationship, of society, of work, even money, and, dare we say it, government.
Deeper than that, it brings a significant question to awareness, Who am I, as a sexual being?
Which leads to so many other questions.
Which if it’s a path we choose to explore, and this is where we see that our sexuality is a portal to so much more, takes us on a spiritual journey. It opens the door to more than simply either fixing a sexual problem, or wanting to have more, better sex.

When we look at the body, we can be amazed by the connections between our sexuality, sexual healing, and the possibilities of experience.
As an example, many men, more than ever, are struggling with erection and ejaculation issues.
Firstly, there’s a link between between hamstrings, lower back and sexual function. If those muscles aren’t toned…
Then there’s a more direct link between pelvic floor muscle strength and tone.
All of these are connected to weight, nutrition and general lifestyle.
Then there’s an emotional pattern connection.
I noticed a deep connection between men with these issues and not being able to receive.
Then it’s connected to the self-definition we’ve been given as men, which has become pretty warped in many ways, the expectations, the lack of emotion, the control, the heart-sex disconnect, the lack of vulnerability and intimacy…
It’s one example of how connected it all is inside of us.

What tends to happen for many of us, particularly when we follow the ‘take a pill, it’ll be fixed’ model, or the ‘20 days to heal this, change that, master this’ hype that abounds.
What tends to happen is that things may change, often do, for a short time. Then they go back to what they were.
Healing, learning, growth, needs to happen in the context of our lives, the context of our bodies, our hearts, our energy…

I’m not saying by any means that this is the only path.
It’s one.
I’m interested in the depth, the possibility.
This path, of sexuality, sensuality, eroticism, as a growth path, a conscious path, a spiritual path.
I’m interested in experience and presence, intimacy and love, the energy of pleasure, the sensual awareness of the body.
How it expresses in all of life.
There is so much for us here, and I invite you..