One of the best things a man can learn about sex, about lovemaking, about touch, is not a technique.
We love techniques, and I’m glad we do because I teach lots of them.
But what we’ve done is that we’ve made the technique so important.
And the more techniques we know, the better lovers we think we’ll be.
Here’s one of the issues with that thinking.
Because what comes with the technique is the idea that every body is the same, that everyone’s body is the same, and it’s the same all the time.
This puts us in a very mechanistic view of sex, which we tend to anyway.
A goal-oriented, tick-the-boxes, follow-the-formula kind of sex.
Now there’s a time where that works, because when we know each other’s bodies and we want to get to the orgasm, it gets us there.
But if that’s all we’re doing, and it’s all we’re doing all the time…
One of the best things a man can learn about sex, about lovemaking, about touch, is not a technique.
It’s to slow down.
It’s that simple.
That changes things so much.
And one of the best ways to do this is to learn Sensual and Erotic Massage.
And that changes things even more.
Firstly, there’s a difference between the time we need to get aroused, and for women it takes more time.
The more a man understands this, and the more he does it, the hotter her fire will burn, the longer it will burn.
Simply, the more time you take, the more turned on she’ll get.
Next, one of the things, and there are many, so many, you’ll learn from Sensual and Erotic Massage, is about the whole body.
And how important this is.
When we follow the formula, we touch in specific ways, in specific places.
We follow the map.
But to get to the treasure, the real treasure, not just to get inside of you, we need to know that this map is much larger than we thought.
That is has many digressions and stops and byways and detours.
And all of them are delicious.
And many of them are surprisingly arousing and exciting.
Thirdly, and this is so important.
Sensual and Erotic Massage is one of the deepest ways to create intimacy and connection.
And sometimes, often, this has nothing to do with sex.
It’s about the conversation of touch, the exploration of touch, the magic of touch.
It’s a pathway to incredible pleasure.
It’s an expression of the heart.
And because it’s so much about intimacy, it’s one of the vital elements of a relationship.
Now let’s look at men for a moment.
As a man becomes more sexually conscious he learns about his sexual energy.
About how quickly it comes up, about, often, how desperate he is to get inside, to perform.
About, and this is big, despite the fact that most men won’t own it, how uncertain, anxious he is about his erection.
About how for most men sex lasts around 5 minutes.
About much he chases the release of orgasm.
About how little it’s about energy, pleasure, sensation, feeling, connection.
Learning to slow down changes so many of these things.
And one of the most powerful ways to slow down is to learn Sensual and Erotic Massage.
It teaches us greater control of our sexual energy.
It teaches us to be present.
It teaches us about this whole, beautiful, wonder-full body.
Ours and our lover’s.
It teaches us to explore and discover.
It teaches us to be creative.
It gets us out of the pattern, out of the technique.
The techniques are important.
They teach us about the body, about anatomy, physiology, where it all is, what it is, how to find it.
It teaches us about why certain things happen.
And it’s vital that we understand that it’s just a framework, a portal, a way in, a guide.
It needs to be personalised, for today, for this moment.
We need to learn to communicate in this space, to talk, to ask, to listen.
We need to learn to feel, to sense, to intuit.
To communicate with our bodies, our touch, our mouths.
To know that the technique is just the beginning.
Then we can walk the limitless path of the possibilities of pleasure.
I invite you to come and learn, to explore the limitless, the wonder-full, the possibilities and pleasure of Conscious Sensual Massage, Erotic Massage, Taoist Sexual Energy Massage, Yoni Massage Lingam massage, The Touch of Intimacy, Sensual Bondage Massage and more.
Let’s talk, jonti@eroslife.co.za.
