Holding, A Touch of Presence






It’s so powerful.

It’s so simple.

It’s so deep.

Just holding.


It can be a sacred experience, a meditation, on the body, on the warmth, on the texture of the skin, on what’s beneath the skin, the blood that flows, the muscles that move, even in rest, the breath that rises and releases.



Holding someone.

Holding their hands, their feet, their face.

Holding someone against your chest, your breast.

It drops us both into stillness, into quiet.

It drops us into presence, that can take us down, deeper, deeper, into the stillness of being, into the pulsation of life.


I’ve been teaching, exploring, experiencing, learning, in Touch, for over 25 years.

For so many of us, as soon as our hands are on a body we feel we need to move. To stroke, to caress, to massage.

And one of the most powerful elements of touch is Holding.

Not moving.


Resting your hands on their body, on their skin.

Softening into the touch, into ourselves, into each other.

There’s a union in this touch, a coming to oneness in the softening of Holding.

Theses a safety in Holding, a safety in being held.

A place for us to let go, to drop, to release, to soften.

There’s a way for us to experience ourselves, and each other, in Holding, that is different to the movement of touch.

In the stillness there’s a conversation, that allows what’s deep inside of us to rise to be met, seen, heard, with inner eyes, inner ears.

In the stillness I’m able to feel the pulse of life within you.

In the stillness it’s as if my hands can sink into you.

In the stillness we can drop beyond stimulation, into being, being in touch, being in the sensation of touch, of Holding, of being held.

In a world of constant and increasing stimulation, the way we touch becomes a part of that. We need more, we need harder, faster, more.

Sexually, sensually, in pleasure, more, deeper, quicker.

It creates a disconnect.

From ourselves, from the deeper places inside of us.

The stillness, the Holding.

Intimacy waits for us, to meet us, in the stillness of Holding.

And as we hold the body we meet ourselves.


Holding is also the space from which movement arises.

And from the stillness, the movement is not patterned, not conditioned. It flows from the moment, from the place of connection. The movement is the expression of the intimacy of Holding.

It is the movement of possibility.

Holding is the space of possibility.


There is healing in holding, release, softening, opening.

Simply by being held, we’re able to let go, we’re able to feel.

Healing is not doing, it’s allowing.

And being held, we allow ourselves.


Holding is becoming a bigger part of my work and teaching.

In Water Flow Massage, which largely inspired this piece.

In Kashmiri Massage, in Earth Massage, in Taoist Massage and so many other ways.

It’s also inspired me to create a new workshop, Holding, which I’ll share soon.

There’s a simplicity in this, Holding.

We often struggle with simplicity, we struggle against simplicity.

And yet the body knows.

In the safety, in the warmth, in feeling your heart close to me, so much happens.

In being held.


I often talk about how much there is in giving, in receiving, the gifts we find, and in this space, Holding another is a meditation on awareness, on presence.

It drops me into myself, into intimacy.



A deep, peaceful and beautiful expression of Holding is Yab Yum Breathing.

Create a space, a sanctuary, with any of the elements that are important to you.

Be warm, so you can be present.

Look into each other’s eyes.


When you’re ready, sit in Yab Yum.

One of you sits cross-legged, you sit on your partner’s lap, wrap your arms and legs round them.

Settle into the position.

Settle into being comfortable.

Feel every place your skin touches theirs.


And drop into the stillness.

Of Holding.

Of being held.

Drop into each other.

Drop into the timeless moment.