Holiday Pleasure and Pressure


The holidays are coming, and here’s something interesting.

Your sexual and relationship problems are not going away. In fact, the opposite is happening.

They’re becoming magnified, more apparent and more visible.

You’re spending more time with your partner, whatever the issues are, they’re going to be there more.

You’re (probably) going to be having more sex, whatever the issues are, they’re there.

You’re going to be in more social and holiday situations, maybe going away, there’s a greater chance of meeting someone of hookups, of exploring, playing, sexual adventures…

And your issues are right there with you.

You take yourself with you, all of you.

If you’re not having orgasms, there you are. If sex is painful, there you are.Iif there’s no intimacy or connection with your partner, there you are. If you come really quickly, there you are. If you’re not communication, there you are. If you’re not being authentic, there you are. If you’re not expressing yourself, there you are. If you’re suppressed, repressed, depressed, inhibited, embarrassed, unfulfilled, longing, yearning… there you are. Magnified!

Time and proximity are there, more than ever.

You can’t get away from you. Wherever you go, right beside you, behind you, in front of you, inside you, is…you.

So which you would you like to be? Which you would you like to take with you? Which you would you like to share with your partner? What kind of intimate time, pleasure time, love time, sex time would you like to have?

It’s a time of gifts, we’re told, a time of giving.

How about giving yourself, and your partner, a gift so special, a gift that could have such impact on you, on your relationship, on your happiness, on your pleasure?

How about making this holiday, whether you’re going away or not, a time of incredible fun, excitement, exploration, growth, connection and pleasure?

A man I’m working with at the moment put it so well. ‘We’re not given any tools to know how to do this, be good lovers, have good relationships, communicate, know what she wants. And we’re just expected to get it right and know how to do it, all of it.’

He’s right. We’re not, and we don’t.

Well here’s a space and an opportunity to learn, to heal, to grow. To get some of the tools to have deep and fulfilling pleasure, intimacy, connection, relationship, and dare I say it, maybe even love.

Come and heal, come and learn, come and connect.

It’s time.