How Many Tears Are Enough




I held a man on his tears at the Water Flow Massage on Fri night, as I’ve held so many men and women over the years as they’ve cried, as I’ve been held in my tears.


A while ago in my studio a woman on a healing journey asked ‘When will I stop crying?’


Last night, as I held this man, I asked, how many tears are enough?


Our tears are expressions of so many things, joy as well as pain.

Openness, vulnerability, intimacy.

The depth, the power of an authentic moment of connection.

A feeling inside of us that is indescribable in words.

Our tears are the expression.


Being seen, being, heard, being felt, being acknowledged.

Our tears are part of the language of the heart, the language of the body.


We hide our tears.

Men more than women.

There is shame in our tears, weakness in our tears for so many of us.

As we hide our tears we hide ourselves, we hide our hearts.


Yes, there are tears of pain, of hurt, of loneliness, of loss, of rejection, of despair, of sadness.

And as I was asked, how many tears do I need to cry?

As many as we need.

As many as life needs.

As many as our bodies need, as many as our heart needs.

And we shed tears for those in our lives who can’t, who won’t.

We shed tears for our parents, our brothers, our sisters, who were too proud to cry, who were too closed to cry, who held on too tightly to cry.

We often carry their tears.


There are times we know what our tears are for, and times we don’t.

Times when our bodies weep in release, and we feel the lightness our tears bring.

Times when our bodies weep and are cleansed.

Times when our eyes, our vision, in the world and the inner vision, opens to a new clarity from our tears.

Times when the emotion within us wells up so large, from a place so deep, there are now words in that moment, our tears speak.

Presence, our tears are presence.

Times we are so open, so intimate, so seen, so seeing, so known, tears.


Cry your tears, all the tears you need.

I think there’s a time that the tears change.

Some pain may never go away, it’s with us every day. There’s no letting it go.

In time we come to live with it differently, it has a place within us, a home.

This place allows for joy as well, it allows for presence in happiness, it allows for appreciation, for compassion, for tenderness.

And our teats change.


Cry all the tears you need.

Of joy and sorrow, of bliss and loss, of gratitude and love.

Cry the tears of your body, the tears of your heart in the fullness of this beautiful human life.