I Found Something




I found something recently, and there might be something for you in what I’ve found.

I have always loved what I do.

When people talk about having a job I’ve never really thought of this as a job in the traditional sense.

I don’t think you can do this kind of work when you see it as a job.

I’ve always loved it.

It hasn’t always been easy, in fact there have been times of great hardship, in every way. Financially, emotionally, romantically, sexually, spiritually.

But I’ve always loved it, and can’t see myself doing much else.

Maybe a pancake bar on a beach, that’s always been a fantasy.

What I’ve found is something that’s given me such a deeper inspiration.

A deeper connection to this work.

A deeper desire, huge desire, to share.

New workshops, Aqua Release with my friend Christos, where we combine a bondage element with a process in the pool. I taught a Drooling Workshop last week for the first time. I taught movement on a workshop, a big thing for me. New retreat programmes. I began shooting an online course last week. I’ve had pieces published on Elephant Journal.

And the planning of a Teacher’s and Practitioner’s Training, starting with a new Yoni Massage course.

And such a desire to share.

What did I find, and what’s there for you?

Everything has come out of an inner journey. Going into myself.

Committing to this, to the practices, the learning.

It’s taken me deeper into myself than I’ve ever been, seeing more of myself, bringing more of myself to be seen.

I’ve found a sense of peace, a quiet that takes me to places of intuition, connection and intimacy.

I’ve seen the impact of this in the sessions I do, the teaching, the touch, the writing.

I shared a practice with someone today, Being Kissed by Life, that I’ve never done before, it brought me to tears,the intimacy with life.

And it’s all come from going within.

This is for all of us.

It’s here for all of us.

You’ll find whatever it is that you’ll find, you’ll find yourself.

You’ll find more and more of your authentic self. We bandy that word around a lot these days. It’s the letting go of the patterns and conditioning, the beliefs we’ve taken on, how much we’ve allowed the opinions of others to shape us.

It’s about becoming who we really are, Divine Beings, feeling that, and feeling it every day. In life, in the small things.

 We tend to look for that, for the Divine, for the Mystery, in the fireworks, in ceremonies, in so many places. These are great, I love them.

It’s here, now.

And that’s where the inspiration is, that’s where the connection is, that’s where the intimacy is.

Inside of us.

It doesn’t matter what work you do.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship or not.

It doesn’t matter what orientation you are.

You’ll see yourself.

I’ve seen so many courses lately about enlightenment, promising the quickest path to enlightenment, to mastery.

A while ago some sent me an email saying he wants to come and learn some Tantra and become a Tantric Master.

I’ve seen the same with business courses, quick success, build a business worth a fortune in a week. I’m being facetious there, but the promise is that it’s all going to happen quickly.

Here’s the thing.

Our path, everyone of us, is going to happen in the time it takes.

There are no shortcuts, there is no quick fix.

There is our inner journey.

For some people it’ll happen faster, for others slower. All that means is the judgment we put on it.

It’ll take us where we need to go.

And when we compare ourselves to others it creates self-hatred. We can never be enough.

We are enough, just enough, magnificently so.

That’s what the journey shows us.


And from that, love, so much love.

I love this work, and the desire to share with you is an expression of love.

I sat in my studio today and listened to a woman on an amazing journey.

She said how it started out wanting to feel better, for someone else, for something else, everything outside of her.

And over time she’s seen how it’s all about her, for her.

So many of us come to this work looking for that, to feel better, to feel less pain, less hurt.

And when we’re willing to do our work, to stay with it, that shifts from healing into learning, into growth, into exploration.

Into ourselves, into our bodies, our hearts, our feelings, our senses.

It’s there for all of us.

And it’s about going within.

And I am so excited to share it with you.