There is a part of us that most of us have never been properly or fully introduced to.
My friend Galen Fous calls it our Sex Creature, I call it our Pleasure Being.
Without this introduction, and the relationship that comes from it, it’s hard to have a full, deep, open and expansive pleasure life.
When you meet someone new, when you start something new, there’s an introduction, and from that we begin to learn, to explore, to discover.
It all begins with this simple, but oh so vital introduction.
The introduction for many of us to our Pleasure Being happens in a way of confused hormones, social media pressure, access to information which may or may not be of good value, peer pressure, very little context, shame, guilt and a whole lot more.
It’s rare that someone sits down with us and explains about our Pleasure Being.
It’s even rarer that there’s some ritual, some initiation, for connecting with this vital, beautiful, powerful aspect of our being.
Here’s the thing, and it’s an important one, is it’s never too late to properly have this introduction.
It’s an introduction to our bodies, to our hearts, to our desires, our fears. To our shadows and our light, to our power, our creativity and our spirit.
It’s a conscious introduction, in this way, that opens the conversation to freedom, healing, growth and possibility, amazing, limitless possibility.
For most of us, we’ve never had a conscious relationship or connection with our sexuality. We don’t really know it, beyond a narrow range of what we do in a pretty patterned, and mostly unconscious way.
It’s generally the desire to heal something, or to expand, a trauma or crisis, a relationship ending, that brings us to this point.
The desire to grow, to want more, an awakening, can open the relationship.
It’s the desire to know ourselves, all of who we are.
On journeys of healing, growth, spirituality, we come across many different aspects of ourselves. Different paradigms give us different perspectives on these, our higher self, our anger etc.
And very few of these give us an introduction, a space, a framework, a way, to get to know our Pleasure Being, really know them.
Intimately, openly, deeply, with clarity, awareness and, in time, with love.
The expression of our Pleasure Being in life is often tainted with guilt, shame, embarrassment and disconnect, rather than beauty, freedom, creativity, excitement, sacredness and fun.
It’s the conscious relationship that does this.
The exploration of who we are, who we really are.
Sexual, sensual, erotic beings in our own right.
Not who we’re expected to be, not who anyone else wants us to be,
Until we introduce ourselves, until we begin the conversation, until we begin to learn who we are, the subconscious parts of us running our sexual show will keep us in the same patterns, the same issues, the same inhibitions and limitations.
Your age doesn’t matter.
Whatever experiences you’ve had don’t matter.
What matters is to say, HI, I’m Jonti.
I’d like to get to know you.
I’d like to know what turns you on, what turns you off. What interests you, what excites you.
What you hide, what you don’t want me to know.
What you really deep down want.
We do this with potential lovers, playmates, friends.
We spend time getting to know them.
Now it’s time to get to know our Pleasure Being, our Sex Creature, in the same way.
To do this with compassion, honesty, openness, enquiry, interest.
We do it externally, and it’s vital to do it internally.
In a world where everyone wants to be a master, everyone wants to be an expert, everyone wants to be a guru, we forget the value of starting from the beginning.
Not too many of us are that interested in an, as an example, Introduction to Yoni Massage, we want it all, now.
Without the foundation necessary to really understand what, how, why…
A while ago someone sent me an email saying they want to learn to be a Tantric master.
From nothing to mastery in 6 weeks, which the internet happily provides and offers.
At the moment I’m getting a lot of requests from people wanting to learn Yoni Massage. One of the 1st questions I ask is what body massage, sensual massage they’ve learned.
That’s the starting point, that’s the introduction to Yoni Massage, and how many men lose interest so quickly.
In a world of instant gratification, quick-fix, surface explanations, shallow experiences, endless searching, we have less time for the basics.
For the introduction, for the time.
That’s where the value is, that’s where the meaning is, that’s where the richness is.
After 30 years on this journey, sexually, spiritually, there are times where I get that I’m just beginning to understand some things.
I keep coming back to the basic practices that I teach, to the basics that I learned.
Part of this journey is helping you begin the conversation, to meet your Pleasure Being, the wonder-full you.
I invite you…
