Life is a Sensual Environment



Life is a Sensual Environment


Life is a sensual environment.


Last week at an Intimacy Workshop that I taught in Ireland someone spoke about creating a sensual environment in their relationship. This is great and important.

And the phrase stuck with me.


At almost every workshop I talk about creating a sensual space for experiences, for connection, for pleasure, for deep communication, for ritual etc.

I talk about the elements of this space, being warm, music, candles, maybe incense, flowers, shells, crystals, whatever it is that’s important to you.

I talk about how preparing the space, whether it’s simple or ornate, is the beginning of coming to the experience with a deeper awareness, more presence.


Over time I’ve heard from many people that this has become really important to them. It allows a moment to be present as a lover, to drop into the intimate space, in many ways, which is not only about sex.

Many people have shared that that space becomes like a sanctuary, a space for them to communicate about emotions with safety.


The word Sensuality is interesting, in that it has many meanings in our world.

What I’ve share here, Sensual Space, is often connected to sex, to pleasure.

And this is the context that many of us use Sensuality in.


There’s more.

A lot more.

And this is where Life is a Sensual Environment comes in.


Sensuality is how we experience life, each other, the world.

In, with, through our senses.

We see, we smell, we touch, we taste, we hear, we feel, we talk, we sense, we move.

Sensual experiences.

And in this, Sensuality becomes a path of awareness, of consciousness.

We learn, through awareness practices, to become more present in our sensual life.


As an example, and I use this lots, because coffee is important to me.

The first coffee of the day, or any coffee.

Take a moment to breathe.

Hold the cup in your hands.

Feel the weight.

Feel the warmth.

Look at the coffee, maybe there’s milk, foam, black, crema.

Smell the aroma, breathe it in.

Take a sip, hold it in your mouth for a moment, taste.

Feel it in your body as you swallow.

A few moments of Sensual Awareness.

Then drink the coffee as you normally would.

Think about how many moments like that there are in your day, every moment filled with possibility.


In this expression and experience of Sensuality there’s an Intimacy.

And intimacy is also a word we’ve connected to sex, when it’s a heart expression in the moment.

So Sensuality is a way for us to become more intimate, with all of life.

This is so important on journeys of healing, growth, learning, spirituality, conscious sexuality. Because so many of our issues are linked to separation and disconnect. From parts of ourselves through stress, judgment, traumatic experiences.

There is such healing, softening, opening, in intimacy.

It’s a vital element of healing.

It’s a vital element of growth.

It’s a vital element of our bodies, our hearts.

And in the awareness of the Sensual Moment, we are intimate.

We can’t not be, we don’t try and make it happen, we don’t do it.

It just is.

And in the Sensual Moment we slow down, we become still, we become quiet. 

Sensual Meditation. 

There can be many moments of meditation in the day. 

This is meditation in life, with life, not just sitting with our eyes closed. 

Yesterday we went walking on the boardwalk by the sea.

It was chilly, windy.

And deliciously sensual.

Our intention was to have coffee at the end of the beach, then walk back.

All the places were closed.

One of them, the door was open, they were doing renovations, we asked where we could have coffee, the guy told us everything was closed, he offered to make us tea.

Delicious tea, warm.

Sensual, Intimate.


Life is a Sensual Environment.

And every moment is filled with possibility.

From waking up and taking time to feel our bodies, to eating, drinking, laughing, crying, talking, orgasming.


It’s all Sensual.

Even in sadness, in alone as, there’s a sensation, a feeling, when we take a judgment off of it, when we can just feel it, feel the quality of what’s there.

That’s the Sensual Environment of Life.


Here’s another way to experience the Sensual Moment with a lover. 

Look into each other’s eyes. 

Bring as much of yourself as you can into this moment. 

Breathe, deeply, in and out. 

Bring your lips close together, not quite touching, so close that you can feel each other. 

Breathe, into the feeling, the energy, the anticipation, the awareness of their face, your face, their lips, your lips. 

Slowly, slowly, come together. 

Let your lips meet theirs. 


And in that moment, the world is in your kiss.