Lingam Healing, A New Practice

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There is a deep practice of Lingam Healing, male healing, heart healing. 

It’s a practice of presence. 

It’s a slow practice, it has very little movement. 

It’s a practice of time, in two ways, the time it takes each time, and the time it takes for a man to relax into it, to receive it. 

And then there’s the time it takes for the person doing the practice to be present for longer. Which makes it a meditation, an unlearning, a learning, an inner journey. 

It’s a practice of allowing, what arises, what emerges, to be there, to stay, to flow. 

To stay in that, in what’s there for as long as it’s there. 

It’s a practice of holding, and in holding, in time, we let go into safety, into relaxation, into quiet. 

It’s a practice that allows the chaos within many men, the conflict, to dissolve into stillness. 

And it’s a practice of pleasure, sometimes subtle, sometimes intense. 

It’s a practice of allowing pleasure with no performance, no goal, nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. 

It’s a practice, that with time, drops us deeper, through the layers of protection, the layers of armoring, the layers of defending, to release, to openness. 

To softness. 

Which is confusing for many men, taught for so long to be hard. 

Taught for so long that Lingam needs to be hard. 

And in this hardness Lingam is so often an expression of anger, of confusion, of conquering, of taking, of emptying myself into you, of seeking a moment of release. 

Lingam has often become an expression of fear, fear of the heart, fear of being seen, revealed in uncertainty, in hurt, and needing to protect by closing off more, creating distance. 

And the confusion this creates in the hearts desire for intimacy. 

This is a practice of surrender. 

This is a practice of possibilities for giver and receiver, and in this we offer each other both of those experiences. 

There’s a dance of becoming. 

The practice, in time, takes us both deeper, into ourselves, into each other. 

Begin the practice opposite each other. 

Look into each other, see, be seen. 

Breathe. 

Lay your partner down. 

Connect with your heart. 

Flow the energy of your heart to your mouth. 

Put your lips on his forehead, acknowledge him. 

Put your lips on his, for a moment. 

Put your lips on his throat, breathe. 

Put your lips on his heart, rest for a moment. 

Put your lips on his belly. 

Put your lips on his Lingam in acknowledgement, in love, in tenderness. 

Find a position that will be comfortable for you, for the time this takes. 

Put his Lingam in your mouth. 

It’s not about whether he’s erect or not. 

It’s not a blow-job, it’s about stillness. 

It’s about the energy of your heart, your love, in this moment, in your mouth. 

Holding him. 

Erections will come and go. 

You may move, slowly, small movements, when you feel it. 

His hips, conditioned, patterned, will move, thrust, seeking sensation. 

Hold him in your mouth. 

The layers will part, in time. 

He’ll surrender, in time. 

He may ejaculate. 

Hold him. 

In time, there may be tears, sounds of rage. 

Hold him, with presence. 

In time, each time, there will be release, softening, opening. 

Your mouth becomes the temple of healing, the temple of pleasure.

Hold him, in this sacred moment. 

Just hold him. 

In love.

I was thinking about making love, and some interesting things came to awareness.
Often in workshops and discussions there’s a question that comes up, which is what’s the difference between having sex and making love.
Is it just semantics or is something there?
Something is definitely there.
I talk about sex as a goal-oriented genital activity. The goal being orgasm.
If we break this down, firstly, there’s the goal. This becomes the focus, and everything we do is about reaching the goal, making it happen, for you, for me, for both of us. When this is our focus we move into a space of performance, of pressure. We’re not present in our bodies, in our feelings, in sensation. We’re in whatever thoughts, fantasies, we need to get there, wherever there is, which is not here.
In this we’re actually having sex for the end, for the ending.
The next part of it is that it’s about genitals, and usually penetration of some sort.
That takes us away from the rest of our bodies, which we may pay some perfunctory attention to on the way, a quick stop here or there.
But it’s about getting to the genitals.
Then there’s an activity, we start it, we end it, we’re done.
Making love is different.
And then this came to me.
We can’t make love.
Love is there.
We reveal ourselves to love, love reveals itself to us.
Love is there.
Love is always present.
Waiting for us, in our bodies, in our hearts, in life.
In our genitals too, part of our bodies.
Love is there waiting for us.
We open our hearts, love is there.
We soften into our bodies, love is there.
We flow into greater awareness, love is there.
When we’re in the moment, the feeling, the sensation, love is there.
When we’re feeling what’s here, now, love is there.
When we’re feeling the energy and dropping into that, love is there.
We can’t make love.
Love is there.
Love is in our breath, breathing you into me.
Love is in our kiss, your lips against mine, the dance of our tongues.
Love is in our bodies, our bellies and hearts against each other.
Love is in the welcoming of your body to mine, my body opening yours.
When we’re simply here with each other, hearts, bodies, souls.
This moment.
Love reveals itself to us, love welcomes us with open arms, open hearts, open bodies.
Love is there, always was, always will be.
In every cell.
Every touch.
And love can be in every orgasm.
We allow the orgasm to happen.
There’s no chasing, there’s no making it happen, there’s no forcing.
It flows.
And the orgasm, deep, deeper, the whole body.
Sometimes soft, tender, rippling, quivering.
Sometimes a fire, burning us away to nothing.
Sometimes a wave, turning us inside out as it washes us through the ocean of pleasure.
Love is there.
We don’t chase it.
We don’t make it.
We make the space for it, we open, we relax, we release, we soften.
That’s our work, our journey.
Love was always there within us, and so much took us away from love.
Somewhere inside, we know love.
Our bodies, Divine, love is in our touch, when we’re simply loving.
We’re not asking for anything, we’re not holding onto anything.
And love is there to meet us.

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