Making Love As A Meditation


In a world where are our nervous systems are so over-stimulated, so jangled, so constantly fed with input, that’s become our normal.

We are so used to that level of stimulus that we seek it, we need it.

We don’t know what to do without it, so we feed it, constantly.

It’s become, for so many of us, the setting we live with. We’ve convinced ourselves, been convinced that that’s the way life is, that’s the way our world is, and that’s the way we are.

And the more we have it, the more we need it.

We know less and less how to be without it.

The impact of this on all aspects of life is well-documented.

What it’s doing to our health, to our relationships, to our bodies and brains, to our world, to the environment is well known.

One of the ways this has impacted on our sexuality is that our bodies seek relief from the constant stimulation. We need a space of relief, release, a space where our bodies, our nervous systems can rest, recover, regulate ourselves.

The paradox is that with such external, and internal stimulation going on, our sexual system needs more and more stimulation as well. It doesn’t live in a vacuum, and what happens to the rest of us, happens to our sexuality as well.

We need harder, faster, more, substances, toys, others…

As we seek more stimulation we seek more release.

And we’ve put the release in the orgasm.

And it is a release.

One definition of orgasm, the way most of us experience it, is as a contractive experience, there’s a build-up of tension, an explosion, and the release of the tension. Then there’s a period before we can do that again, an hour, a day, whatever it is.

It’s become about the release.

Orgasms are great, wonderful, fantastic, amazing, sometimes mind-blowing, sometimes just nice, whatever they may be.

And there’s more.

That requires a mind-shift, a body-shift, a focus-shift, an energy-shift.

We can have sex and make love with the intention of it becoming a meditation, a practice of a deeper experience.

The intention is different.

We take orgasm away, it doesn’t mean that you don’t or can’t have orgasms, we simply take it away for a while.

And we move into a different experience.

We slow everything down, we breathe, we feel, we allow the sensations, the feelings to be there.

We go inside of ourselves, we connect with our hearts, we connect with another.

The sensations we feel become a way to connect with our bodies with awareness.

We become more present.

We feel more.

We slow everything down.

And then we slow it down more.

And then we slow it down more.

And in time, because it’s a practice, and it takes us time to appreciate this, understand it, we see how it impacts on us, on our bodies, on our minds, on our hearts, on our energy, on our lives.

There’s wisdom within our bodies.

Learning to listen is where the power is.

And in a world of increasing stimulation mind-meditation becomes more difficult.

When we go to the body, we’re creating a quietness, a stillness for the mind to begin its inward journey.