For a while I’ve had the awareness of how few of us make love.
We have sex, and often we call it making love.
Firstly, we use that as a euphemism, a lot of sex is not connected to love.
It’s about a release, it’s about seeking a few moments of deep letting go, it’s about using someone’s body to masturbate, it’s about taking, conquering, using.
It’s often to make ourselves feel good.
And there’s something interesting here, a digression.
Giving someone pleasure, which often means ‘making them come, giving them an orgasm’, which we actually don’t really do, is often to make us feel good, tick a box, fulfil an expectation. Or it’s a transaction, I make you come, I get to have sex, or to make me come.
Then we learn some Tantric, Neo-Tantric, Conscious Sexual Practices, and we think we’re making love.
We do experience a deeper connection and more intimacy.
We feel more.
There’s a greater sensitivity.
There’s more energy.
And at some point in this experience, we go into the sexual pattern.
And for many of us, there’s a switch that gets flicked, and we go into our, subconscious, sexual pattern.
We reach for orgasm, we go into friction sex.
It feels like, after so many years of learning, teaching, experiencing, and so many experiences, I’m just beginning to learn about making love.
Firstly, making love is an inner journey.
In many ways it has nothing to do with anyone else, no partner.
For it’s only within yourself that you can find your Self.
And it’s the Self that makes love.
Then that sentence needs to change, for we don’t make love.
Love is there, it always was, and we allow Love to arise.
We’ll use the term, making love, for its what we know, but we can’t make it.
We can drop into it, we can allow it to arise within us, to emerge in a moment.
It’s there within us.
It’s on our hearts, it’s in our bodies, it’s in our cells, it’s in our breath, it’s in our senses.
Then we begin to understand that there are so many ways to make love, to have the experience of love, to be intimate, to feel.
It can happen anywhere, anytime.
When it’s within us.
It can happen in our eyes, it can happen in our breath, it can happen in our words, in our touch.
And it’s often not about another.
It’s about our feeling that Love within.
With one who we call Lover, Beloved, it may be deeper, because we bring ourselves into greater awareness in that moment, in that situation.
The next thing in this is that making love is actually a surrender.
It’s a surrender to that within me, Love.
As I surrender to Love, and allow Love to flow in body, in so many ways, that Love will share with you, in the way it will.
In movement, in sound, in breath, in touch.
It has no direction, as so much of what we call making love does. It’s direction is genital, all roads lead to Yoni and Lingam.
This love may go there, and it may not.
And if it does, it may not stay there, it may just visit for a moment.
This Love dances in so many ways, now gentle and slow and soft, now a fire, a roar.
This Love sweeps and swoops.
It’s a wave and a ripple.
It’s a bite and a kiss.
It’s hot and sweaty, and it’s as still as the moon on a sleeping ocean.
It’s alive.
And it’s aliveness it has the desire to express itself in so many ways.
It has no destination, no goal, no ending.
It is.
And we don’t make it, we surrender to it.
This journey, healing, learning, growing, exploring, is the journey of peeling away the layers that keep us from loving.
These layers, masks, armours, stories, beliefs, some given to us, some foisted on us, generations of them.
Often based in fear.
The peeling away, the revealing, the seeing, the going through them.
Tears, anger, rage, rejection, loneliness, despair, loss…
So much, so much hurt, so much pain.
And in time, we begin to see, to feel, love.
Then Love.
We become lovers, then Lovers.
I visited a Temple earlier, just off the beach in Keri, Goa.
I’m teaching here for the next few weeks, and offering sessions.
There are so many temples everywhere.
This Temple, this Body, has what we need, to Love.
I look forward, from this place within me, to sharing with you…
Love.
Making Love, Allowing Love, Arising Love…
