Making More Love


The sexual paradigm that so much of the Western world lives with is essentially a Porn – based model. It’s extremely genital, it’s goal – oriented, it’s about performance and achievement, it’s incredibly judgmental in the criteria for it to be successful, it’s objectifying on terms of the ideal bodies, it follows a script and pattern that’s limiting, inhibiting and narrow. It allows for a level of satisfaction rather than fulfillment that keeps us happy, almost like an itch we scratch. It largely keeps deep intimacy out of the experience through its focus on genitals, penetration and orgasm.

It’s perfect for our world, and it keeps us on the hamster – wheel of how much, how many, how good.

It creates a disconnect within us.

A disconnect from our own hearts, from our own emotions, from our own sensations.

A disconnect from intimacy with another as we put our attention on the destination rather than the moment.

And it fuels an industry that’s like the drug of sex. Until we go looking for something else it keeps us hooked and addicted on how to have sex, whether we watch porn or not.


When we move more into our hearts it begins to change.

When we become more present it changes.

When we question what fulfillment is it changes.

When we choose to express love, intimacy, tenderness, connection it changes.

When it becomes an expression of who we are rather than what we do it changes.

When we feel the expansion that we can through a touch, a kiss, breath, eyes, it changes.

When we create an intention as an expression of the heart and express that it changes.

When we remove the judgments we hold against the fullest expression of desire it changes.

When we allow ourselves to go beyond the surface it changes.

When we change, it changes.

When it becomes about being rather than doing, it changes.


There’s mystery here.

Because for so many of us we have no knowing of what’s outside the box and labels and judgments we’ve put around sex.

When we go beyond the boundaries we’re going into the unknown.

And so many of us are going to stay where we know.


Those of us, the adventurers, the explorers, the lovers, we’re speaking a different language, sometimes we don’t even have the words for the experiences.

We’ll find them in time.

And in the meantime we’ll create this new world of pleasure, we’ll keep ancient connections alive.

And every one of us in the way that we do, we add to the energy, to the frequency of possibility.

Our waves tickle someone’s toes, our thoughts, our words, reach out.

And in time another, others will ask the questions, will become seekers.

And in time there will be more lovers.

And in time there will be more Love.