Oftentime, making time for pleasure
Means it happens
Means we’re able to meet in pleasure
Oftentime, waiting for the spontaneous
Means we wait
Oftentime, making time for pleasure
Means fulfilment
Many of us have this wonderful illusion, fostered by the media, that pleasure just happens spontaneously.
That we both feel the same desire, the same level of desire, at the same time.
That it’s just supposed to happen, and happen like that.
We soon learn that it ain’t so!
And then we don’t know what else to do…
Firstly, we have different types and cycles of desire and arousal.
Spontaneous desire, responsive desire.
Time, rhythms of our bodies, rhythms of emotion, rhythms of energy.
The context, what else is happening in our lives, in our hearts at the time.
Synchronicity with a lover.
Levels of intimacy.
Safety, communication.
Diet, sleep, work, family, health…
All of these impact on the desire and arousal we feel.
Planning pleasure gives us time for arousal to switch on, to build.
The busier our lives get, the more distracted we become, the further pleasure slips down the list.
The way is making time for pleasure.
The way, the gifts that pleasure has for us, for our health, in every way, we come to see that.
The way, is that to make it happen, and to make it fulfilling, rather than an exhausted, unsatisfying roll-on, roll-off, is to make time, to plan.
The way is to get out of the pattern, to learn, to communicate, to ask, to receive.
It requires a mind-shift, a body-shift, an awareness-shift.
It begins with learning the different ways for us to pleasure each other.
What it is we like, enjoy, want.
And learning to communicate these.
It requires making time, an intention.
Coming into the space with an intention.
Being present in the intention, present with ourselves, each other.
Body present, heart present.
Because for so many of us, sex is the most patterned, conditioned part of life, doing what we do, we do the same thing in the same way.
Because for many of us, sex is the part of life spoken about the least, in terms of what we want, what excites us, what arouses us, what draws us, what interests us.
We need to learn to talk, to communicate, to plan our experiences.
There’s an analogy I use.
If you’re going to make a stir-fry, you can use pretty much anything you have in the fridge.
If you’d like to male something different, and that doesn’t always mean special, something specific, do you have the ingredients?
In pleasure, it has to do with the feeling, what would you like to feel?
What would you like to experience?
Connected, loved, an orgasm?
Gentle, fire, slow, hard?
Creating, talking about what we’d like to feel, give, receive, allows for fulfilment, allows for us to express ourselves.
It frees us to move from the pattern to the present.
To what’s within us now, today.
It brings excitement, variety.
It opens possibility, creativity.
The anticipation of our time together, whether it’s short or longer, becomes more exciting.
Intimacy deepens, connection expands.
Communication opens.
Exploration allows new pathways to open, fantasies, desires…
Making time, dedicated time for pleasure, gives us this.
The conversations about what we want, really want, deepen.
Sharing, vulnerability become more.
We meet each other more, are met more.
Making time for pleasure means pleasure happens.
Means we make time for each other.
It’s the only way that’s sustainable.
Learning the many different ways to pleasure each other, give and receive, share, and they are limitless, opens such doors of possibility for us.
Learning about intention, communication, creating the experience, expanding the way we pleasure can be life-changing.
I invite you…
