Men Receiving


Men Receiving


At the Expanded Orgasm Workshop I taught this week there were some really interesting questions asked, and some deep understandings shared.


Before I share one of these, I’d like to share this.

One of the reasons that I teach is that it’s a space for me to learn. I learn through the questions that are asked, I learn through the understanding people each, I learn through what they share, the perspectives they bring and I learn through the talking.

The extension of this is that one of the reasons I do what I do, teaching, helping in the field of Conscious Sexuality, is that it allows me to express so much of myself in so many ways. I don’t know anything else that holds this space for me.


The comment that was made on the workshop was about men receiving pleasure.

And this connects beautifully to two of the practices we do at the Water Flow Massage experience.


One of the elements of Expanded Orgasm is that it’s a gift of pleasure that you give for your partner.

This allows you to go deeply into receiving, and enjoy the fullness, the intimacy and expression of giving.


The practices in Water Massage that connect to this are about holding and supporting your partner in the water, they let go into being held and supported as deeply as they can.

In the sharing after the experience so many women say how beautiful, how powerful, how emotional it is for them to be able to support their partner in that way.


In this, and in the giving of Expanded Orgasm, there is simply receiving.

I say simply, and it’s an incredibly deep experience.

For when you allow yourself to receive, you open the space for your partner to give.

And until you’ve had this discussion and experience, I’m not sure you realize how deeply it touches so many relationships.


There’s a flow of energy in every relationship, in giving and receiving, in the ways that we do, it flows between us as we express ourselves. When there is openness in this flow it can deepen and expand, it can take many forms, it can create and change and play.

However, when it’s blocked, and what blocks it is when we are, when one of us is unable to express their giving and receiving, sharing in the flow.


For many men simply receiving is space of deep vulnerability, of openness.

In this they reveal themselves.

They lay themselves bare.

There’s a letting go of control.

There’s a letting go of outcome.

There’s a letting go of pressure, of the need to perform in any way.

There is such power in this.

It shows love for your partner.

It shows trust in your partner.

It creates deep intimacy.

It allows your partner to express their sexual power, their sexual energy, their desire.


And sadly, so many men see this as weakness.

In truth, it’s an expression of such strength, such security in who you are sexually, sensually, emotionally, energetically.


Because so many of our sexual experiences follow a pattern, because so many of our sexual experiences are based on an expectation, they are limited, and stay the same.

When we can change the pattern we can start to create experiences that are deeply fulfilling, expansive, creative, opening, intimate.

We free ourselves from a sexual past filled with inhibitions and withhold, where we are unable to express the fullness of our sexuality, to a present filled with presence.

And filled with possibility.