As I look at a different story for our sexuality I turn to an experience I had recently and what it brought to mind.
I was in the steam bath at the gym after swimming. It’s a unisex steam so I was wearing a bathing costume. I was alone in the room, lying down, doing some deep breathing, when two drops of water from the ceiling dropped onto my cock. They caused an intense sensation in my body and in my heart.
The pleasure of this subtle experience was so deep.
And then came a rush of awareness.
The first is the relationship that men have with their genitals. It’s a functional relationship. And for most men they’re only concern is that it works, does what it’s supposed to when it’s supposed to.
The functional relationship is one of disconnect.
The heart and genitals are not seen as one channel of energy. There’s no communication between them, so sex and love are separate.
And if sex and love are not connected then energy can’t flow upwards in the body, and there’s a lack of fulfillment.
This goes deeper into the place that without heart the expression of our sexuality reflects the anger, confusion, powerlessness and pain that so many men feel.
So our genitals become weapons rather than expressions of pleasure.
As part of the work I do with all men who come and see me are processes about developing an emotional relationship with their genitals.
When we connect with our hearts the entry to sex changes. The perception we have changes, and then our sexual expression can change.
In this connection we move to a more holistic experience that extends beyond our sexuality into our lives.
The second awareness on that day was about beauty.
How many men see their genitals as beautiful, in every sense of that, visually, texturally, sensationally, olfactorally…
To see the beauty we have to beyond judgment, beyond performance, beyond comparison, beyond fear, beyond disconnect, beyond any external standard.
We go into emotional ownership.
This is mine, a part of me, of my expression of myself as a man, as a being of pleasure.
And when I can acknowledge the beauty of my penis, cock, Lingam, staff of life, jade stalk, I can express that beauty in my pleasure.
I can give with beauty, receive with beauty, with awareness, with tenderness, with presence, with love.
In beauty I can heal the disconnect I’ve been conditioned into. I can open the energy connection between my genitals and my heart.
There can be flow, creativity.
There can be intimacy within me.
In beauty I can free myself from the limitation of orgasm.
In beauty I can explore the myriad paths of pleasure.
In beauty I can free myself from the labels of limitation.
A beautiful man.
A beautiful, sexual man.
A beautiful sensual man.
Most of us have no idea what to do with that.
But a beautiful man is filled with the transformational power of possibility.
A beautiful man can create a beautiful world.
A beautiful man can create a path for other men to walk.
A beautiful man can live from his body, his heart.
A beautiful man can be a maker of love.
A beautiful man can be a maker of peace.
A beautiful man can connect to the earth.
A beautiful man can express the highest within us.
Here, take my hand
Let us begin…