My Relationship With My Yoni
On the wall in my bedroom is a picture of a Lingam, and a stylised Yoni. They were made for me by a lover.
I can’t share the Lingam image with you, it’s been deemed too sexual for some sites, the image with this piece is the Yoni.
I’ve spent a lot of time over the past two weeks in bed with bronchitis, cough, and general exhaustion. I’ve been looking at these pictures a lot, my mind simply ranging all over.
A lot of people come to see me, online as well as in person, because relationships have ended or are in trouble.
We talk a lot about the patterns we live with, it’s a cornerstone of my work.
What we come to realize is that these relationships are often, mostly, an expression of the patterns within us.
And a big part of this is the relationship we have with ourselves, with our bodies, hearts and genitals.
The problem is that we look to others, and to others bodies, for these relationships.
We don’t realise, and are not taught, the importance of this, that all relationships are an extension of this, the relationship we have with ourselves.
Until then all that we do is express our subconscious patterns, our shadows, and the judgment, conditioning and patterning we have with ourselves, in our relationships.
And a huge part of this is in our sexuality, expressed through our bodies, hearts and genitals.
This is the relationship that we’re not often aware of, and the impact it has on our relationships with others.
This is what so much of the healing journeys, the exploration and learning is about. This is where the growth happens.
And this is where so much of our relationships with others happens.
Within ourselves. With ourselves.
I’ve learned to begin the journey with the body.
And to continue the journey with the body.
It is an embodied journey.
As much as we think our spirituality is above the waist, above the neck, it’s in our body, and it begins in the base of our body, our perineum, our genitals.
It’s in our belly, in our guys, our viscera, our hearts.
And I’ve learned it’s about bringing the mind into the body, into the depths of our body.
Until we have a relationship with our own bodies, our own genitals, until we know who we are, we keep looking outside.
And what we’re looking for is ourselves.
In the wrong place.
I remember when she was making the images, my lover. She asked me for a few pictures of my Lingam. I didn’t know what for, at the time.
Over the past few weeks it’s taken me deeper into the awareness of how important the relationship with ourself is.
And how endless, limitless, it is.
The depths, the subtlety.
And every relationship, every sexual relationship, every heart relationship, comes from that.
And every spiritual relationship comes from that.
From the relationship with ourselves.
Rooted in our bodies.
Our genitals, the source of life.
For many of us the journey begins with something simple.
We’d like to have better relationships, whatever that means. We’d like to have more love, more pleasure. More intimacy.
Over time we see how that connects to the spiritual.
To the eternal, and to the eternal we are.
It’s all within us.
Learning about ourselves.