Our Sexual Connection



Something became clear to me this week that I’ve known for a long time, just never put it into simple words before.


Most people who come and see me, looking for healing, as that’s where so many journeys into sensuality, into Conscious Sexuality, into Tantra begin, are looking for something.

They’re looking to connect with their sexuality.


Some of us have never had that connection, have never owned our sexuality, never been comfortable, deeply comfortable, in our sexuality.

Some of us have disconnected from it over time, through stress, through trauma, through unfulfilled experiences, unmet expectations, disappointment and so many other issues.


Many people, men and women, come to sexual healing with a specific issue. They’re not having orgasms, they’re not having internal orgasms, sex is painful, they’re struggling with erections, early ejaculation, lack of intimacy, loss of desire…


And many people come to this not really knowing why, something is lacking, something is missing, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes a relationship ends and we realize how unfulfilling the sex was. Sometimes we realize how much we had sex for someone else. Sometimes we realize how much more we wanted. Sometimes we realize how inhibited we’ve been. Sometimes we realize how little we know. Sometimes we realize how many conversations we wanted to have and didn’t know how, or what to say, or how scared we were of rejection, of the reaction. Sometimes we realize how much we judged our desire, the things that interested us, aroused us.


We talk about all these things and more.

And when we connect to our sexuality, to our bodies, to our hearts, to our genitals, to who we are as sexual beings, pleasure beings, we begin to heal.

It’s been said that all healing is about connection, connecting to the parts of us that we’ve rejected, separated from, been separated from, through judgment, through stress, through painful experiences.


When we connect with our sexuality we begin to free ourselves from the conditioning, the patterning of the past. We free ourselves from so many expectations, of how it should be.

In the connection healing happens.


There are so many elements, so many aspects of the disconnect from our sexuality, from pleasure, from ourselves.

And this is what so many of us are looking for.

We’re looking for ourselves.


What we begin to learn is that our sexual journey is an inward journey.

It’s about us more than another.

This is strange for so many, because sex is about someone else, and one of the first questions many people ask is, can I do this if I don’t have a lover, if I’m not in a relationship?


We find our sexuality within us, within our own bodies, our own hearts, within our own minds.

We find our sexuality within ourselves.

We find ourselves.

Because our sexuality is not separate from who we are. It’s connected to every aspect of who we are, and so much of who we are plays out in our sexuality.

So when we begin a journey of connecting, reconnecting, with our sexuality, we journey into ourselves. All of who we are.

And we journey into our hearts, into possibility.