Penetration of the Heart



The way most people have penetrative sex is what we call friction sex.

That’s exactly what it is, skin rubbing against skin. We generally do it harder and faster as the sensation builds to have that explosive, contractive orgasm.

It becomes about more friction, more friction, harder, faster.

It’s the explosion we’re seeking.


When we expand our perspective on this we come to see that there are so many more possibilities in the experience.

When we begin learning and exploring we become aware of sensation and energy. Of different ways to move, of breathe, of sound, of stillness, of relaxation and surrender.

We let go of goal-oriented sex.

We let go of performance, destination, achievement.


We open to sex as a deeper path, an inner path of intimacy with ourselves, and our lover.

Of a path of energy.

Of a path of spiritual practice.

Of a path of meeting ourselves, knowing ourselves, in light and in shadow.


There’s a practice I teach that’s a part of this journey.

It’s a practice of energy and breathing.

It’s a practice of stillness.

It’s a practice of meditation, that ultimately expresses itself in sex.

It’s a practice of deep and subtle pleasure.

And it’s a practice of the heart.

In this alone there is deep healing for men, as our greatest and deepest disconnect is that of Heart and Lingam.


In this practice, each element is a complete exercise on its own. Take some time with it, connect with yourself, your body, your breath, your energy, your heart, your Lingam and your sexuality.

In this time you’ll find that a different awareness of sex and pleasure emerges. It takes you beyond the patterning and conditioning, beyond the beliefs you’ve held about sex, about the way it should be, and how you should be as a sexual man. It allows an expansion of that into a deeper connection and expression of sexuality that is richer and fuller. There’s a quality in this that only a heart connection brings.


That brings a digression for a moment.

So many women have shared that there is such a difference when that intimacy, when the heart is there. Without that, as skilled as some men are, there’s an emptiness in the sex.

We get so caught up in technique, and learning that is great, it can give us so much information. But without the heart it remains simply information and there’s a robotic quality to it.

The Heart is where it’s at.

And to take that a little deeper.

A big part of the work I do with people is sexual awakening, and there’s been a lot of it coming up lately on many platforms.

The biggest part of this journey is the Awakening of the Heart.

More about that later.


This practice, this experience, Penetration of the Heart, begins in your heart.

With the Heart Breath.

Put one hand, or both, on the center of your chest.

Become aware of a space deep in the middle of your body.

Your Heart Center.

Inhale, and as you breathe in have the awareness that you’re breathing into that space in the middle of your chest.

As you breathe out, exhale from that space.

Slow, deep breaths, without straining the breath.

A good way to do Heart Breath is for 5 minutes.

It connects you to that energy.

It’s also calming, centering.

That’s the first part, connecting with your heart.


Then feel the energy, the sensation, whatever you perceive that to be, in your heart.

As you breathe, as you inhale, become aware of the energy moving down to your Lingam.

You may feel a tingling, an awareness of energy or sensation in your genitals.

Feel the energy filling your Lingam.


The next step is to breathe the energy out the tip of your Lingam, out into the space around you.

Imagine, have the awareness, in whatever way it’s there, of the energy of your heart expanding out, beyond your body.


This on its own becomes a deep meditation on your sexual energy, on penetrating life, on making love with life.

You can also do this as a visualization with a lover without them being in the same space, energy sex.


When you’re ready to do this with your lover it’s a ritual experience.

Create a sensual space.

Greet each other, a Heart Salutation.

Look into each other’s eyes.


When you’re inside of her, connect with your heart, breathe.

Move the energy of your heart to your Lingam.

Feel how the energy fills you.

And expand the energy into her Yoni.


Imagine the energy moving through her belly to hear heart, touching her heart.

Penetrating her heart, opening her heart.

Making Love With her Heart.


It can only come from your heart.

To touch her heart.

It’s softening for both of you, energy moves in softness, in relaxation, in openness.

It’s vulnerable, deeply vulnerable, as your open heart touches hers.


Take time with each step in this practice, maybe a few days, a week, even longer.

I’ve written this as a heterosexual experience, and it can be shared with same sex couples as well.


Penetration of the Heart.

Making Love.