Self-Pleasuring, An Inner Journey




Self-Pleasuring, An Inner Journey


I did a workshop this week presented by my friend Peter Banki.

It was a rope workshop, offered in a non-traditional way.

I was really inspired after the workshop, and even did something I’ve never done before, a self-experience with the rope.

I found it amazingly sensual, and more than that, emotional, and it took me to a space of deep meditation afterwards.

It also inspired me to create a new experience, which I tried with someone I’m working with, my word, it went deep. More about that another time.


What it brought to me was a whole new dimension in self-pleasuring.

There is something beautiful about our sexuality and sensuality. We’ll, more than one thing, a lot more.

One of the things about this amazing energy is the opportunity it offers us for an inner journey.


Our sexuality is a guide, a teacher, a path of personal enquiry, a way to experience energy, a way to access deep states of consciousness, a way to become incredibly intimate with ourselves, a place to become aware of many of our patterns, a way to get to know, explore and experience our bodies, our hearts.

It’s a way for us to heal, so many things, that have nothing to do with sex, as well as sex.

It’s a way to find stillness, the inner quiet that connects us to the deepest parts of ourselves.

It can take us to a meditative state.

It can give us access to creative energy and inspiration.

And it offers us pleasure, deep, limitless pleasure.


As with every aspect of sexuality and sensuality, when we shift our perception of it, when we see it as energy, when we see the possibility, the portal that it is, so much changes.

And one of the things we need to shift to deepen and expand our experience, and access these energies, is to get out of the focus of orgasm.


Now let’s be clear on something.

A good wank and orgasm can be fantastic, and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

More than that, in the realm of orgasm there is so much to explore in our own bodies.

And there’s more, so much more.

That’s what this piece is about.

Our self-pleasuring can be an inner journey to see, feel, experience, know so much more of ourselves.


A woman I’m working with said something to me recently, that she’s starting to see the difference between orgasm and pleasure.

When we begin to connect with, through experience, more of ourselves, and a range of sensations, feelings, energies, we open to that.

And someone else sent me a question. She’s not in a relationship anymore, she had the release, the emotion and energy with her partner, how does she still access these states?


We’re sensual and sexual beings in our own right.

Whether we have a partner, or partners, or not, whether in a relationship or not, even whether we’re having sex or not.

It’s about us.

And in the same way that a spiritual journey, a growth journey, a healing journey is about us, so it is with our sexuality.

The more we learn about ourselves, the more we know ourselves, the more we have to share with another, if we choose.

And with the world as it is at the moment, this journey of self-pleasuring is important to so many people. It’s a way to connect with our bodies, our hearts, to have an Intimacy with ourselves that so many of us are lacking. To touch more than just our genitals, but all of our bodies.

To make love with ourselves.


This week, Thursday 8 July, I am offering, with Tamar, a Free Self-Pleasuring Webinar. The link is on my page and group, ErosLife.