Sexual Healing, The Paths of Possibility

I sat in my studio this morning with a client, listening to her sexual story, her desire to have the experiences she knew were there, to feel the things she knew were possible.

I was thinking about my journey, working in the field of Conscious Sexuality for 20 yrs. This began with a fascination with touch, exploring different massage modalities, Kinesiology, Shiatsu, energy healing, esoteric studies, a deep personal sexual exploration, a deep personal growth journey, a radio show, a range of DVD’s, workshops, retreats and a continuous journey of learning.

I was thinking about what sexual healing means, and for many of us how it’s an idea that we’re not clear about, but seems, and is, important.

The first layer of sexual healing is a range of sexual issues that include women who struggle to, or don’t have orgasms, painful sex, vaginismus, loss of libido, lack of connection and intimacy, a lack sexual skills, boredom, disconnect from their bodies, a lack of sensitivity, erection and ejaculation issues for men, loss of libido, lack of connection and intimacy, boredom, disconnect from their bodies, a lack of sexual skills etc.

Then there are people, men and women who have been in relationships that have ended and are rediscovering their sexuality, their sensuality, learning about themselves, learning new sexual skills so that the next relationship can be more satisfying, more fulfilling. The extension of this is often the discovery, and exploration of aspects of our sexuality we weren’t aware of before, sexual things that interest us, an awakening. This often includes things like multiple partners, same sex experiences, fetish and Kink play, different ways of having relationships and more. The exploration is sometimes simply talking about it, reading about, and sometimes it’s experiential. It’s beautiful to be a guide on these journeys as the power of discovery, the liberation it brings, the excitement and vitality is so deep. And so often connected to other aspects of life, to creativity, to a renewal of passion for life.

Then there’s a place where we start understanding about energy, about sexual energy, maybe even the connection between sexuality and spirituality. This is where we start to go deeper, to the place of the heart, how it connects to everything, feeling energy in the body, seeing sex as more of an energy experience than a purely physical expression. Our sexuality becomes a place of personal enquiry, of learning, healing and growth, of creativity and curiosity. I love this journey, for those who choose it. It opens doors of limitless possibility, shows us things about pleasure that take us so far beyond what we thought it was, frees the body, the mind and connects us to something more.

Then, and this is where it becomes a space that’s not always clear, many people are aware of the need for sexual healing without being able to say what that really is.

This is often because they don’t know the words. The feeling is there.

It’s not always a direct problem.

And so often it’s the knowing that there’s more, and that we want it, we want it so much, and we’re not even sure what it is.

And so we begin to explore…

Sexual healing becomes life healing.

These journeys, wherever they begin, in whatever way, are all amazing.

Wherever they go, the depth we choose, the things that interest us, are all fascinating.

They all have so much learning, so many possibilities.

Wherever you are, whatever the issues in your life, from problem to possibility, from looking for healing in some way, to exploring touch, sensation, energy, spirituality, Conscious Sexuality,  NeoTantra, Taoist Sexuality, relationships, kink, sexual energy, to just wanting to have better sex, whatever that means, begin the journey.

It’s the journey of your life, of your body, of your mind.

It’s the journey of your heart.

And it’s the journey of loving yourself.