Sexuality, Life, Healing


Our sexuality is in the context of our lives.

It’s not, as many people think, and the way they express it, in a little box that they take out in very specific circumstances and use it, then put it away again.

Our sexuality is connected to every aspect of ourselves, and so many other parts of us are connected to and expressed in our sexuality.

When we begin a journey of healing our sexuality, and this is mostly triggered by a pain, we have to put this in connection to the rest of ourselves and our lives.

It’s not in a vacuum.

Our sexuality us connected, deeply connected, to our hearts.

And so many of our heart hurts play out in our sexuality.

It’s important to remember that we live in patterns. And many of our patterns, which are not always about sex, become manifest in our sexuality.

When we begin to heal these sexually, we open to the possibility of doing the same in other areas of life.

Here’s an example.

One of the reasons many women struggle to have orgasms is that it’s difficult for them to let go, to just let their bodies and minds go enough for the orgasm to happen.

There’s a state of tension and control. Which leads to stiffness, in the body in the mind in movement, in thought, in feeling.

Maybe there’s a fear of judgment, of allowing the wild out, maybe long ago there was a message about how ‘young ladies’ behave, maybe there was a message about deservability, maybe there was a message about having too much fun or pleasure, maybe there was a message about sex being dirty, maybe there were painful sexual experiences, maybe… So many maybes and possibilities in that pattern.

And then think about how that pattern shows up in other areas of life. Maybe we can’t be creative for a fear of that being judged, maybe we can’t let go to dance freely, maybe we can’t make too much noise or be ‘too much’, maybe we can’t have a relationship of deep live and intimacy… So many maybes and possibilities.

And they’re linked.

And as we go deeper into our sexuality we begin to see the connections.

And as we heal our sexuality we see how other parts of our lives change.

And as we explore our sexuality we see how we begin to explore and become more aware of life in so many ways.

A while ago I asked some people that had been on healing journeys to share their experiences, to talk about how much they had changed. We shared this on an episode of SexTalk, here’s the link to that show:

The power of this healing is the power of possibility.