Softly, Slowly, Deeply…




The world of male sexuality is fraught with myth, misinformation and misunderstanding.

The more I’m in the field of Conscious Sexuality the more I see the minefield it can be.

We have very little idea of what it means to be a sexually authentic man, what we want, what women want, how pleasure and relationships could be.

We’re trapped in patterns that are very often unfulfilling.

And there’s an enormous pressure to perform, even if we don’t always know what that means.


So when something different comes along we often have no idea where to put it, what to do with it and what possibilities it holds for us.


My lover and I often have some very extended lovemaking.

A while ago during a deep and beautiful experience I started going soft.

This is when men start to panic.


I went about half erect.

I breathed.

I relaxed into my body, into the space.

I opened my heart more, deepening the connection between us.

I didn’t stop moving, I moved differently inside her, smaller, slower movements.

We both softened.

Sensation became more intense.

The love expanded.

The pleasure deepened.

We went to a place of openness and beauty.

There was a melting.

And it went on and on and on…


Here’s the thing.

There are so many incredible and beautiful possibilities for men, and their partners.

We need to beyond to see that.

Beyond the conditioning, beyond the very narrow range of expectations.

It comes with a mind shift, a body shift, a heart shift.

It’s an energy shift.

It’s a space of deep vulnerability, for both of you.

It holds the possibility of honouring the fullness of a man.

It frees you to be present without fear.

It’s authentic.

It’s a man.



A note on the practical side.

Lots of Lube is vital for soft sex. Move slowly.

A great position is if she closes her legs, you put your legs outside hers, the stimulation is intense.