I shared a piece a while ago about some of the sexual and pleasure gaps we experience.
We talk about the orgasm gap, and that’s only a part of it.
One of the gaps, and it’s a big one, is the gap between what we’d like, and what we experience.
The more our sexual experience is from the space of patterning and conditioning, the greater the gap.
The more our sexual experience is goal-oriented, achievement oriented, purely orgasm based, the greater the gap.
The more our sexual experience is performance based, the greater the gap.
The key is in the feeling.
How would you like to feel, what would you like to feel?
It’s a simple question.
It’s such a deep question.
And it’s an invitation.
If we’d like to feel connected, if we’d like to feel intimate, what experience would we have, what would we do?
Having sex with our eyes closed, having sex being in a fantasy in our heads, is not going to foster that.
Friction sex to get to an orgasm as quickly as we can, is not going to create intimacy.
This is about the quality of our experience.
This is about what we do.
This is about how we do what we do.
And it begins way before our sexual experience.
It begins with an awareness of the feeling.
It begins with a desire, a desire of the heart, a desire to feel.
This is such a different entry point to the desire of the body.
It begins with a connection.
It begins with the way we build the energy, soft and slow, fire and heat, intimacy, energy…
It begins with an awareness.
It begins with a conversation, open.
It begins with being heard, being met, being seen.
It begins with a feeling.
One of the deepest feelings is that of being full, of being fulfilled.
Many of us, mostly men, are looking to empty themselves.
Many of us, mostly women, are looking to fill themselves.
The fullness, the feeling of being full, of being filled, requires presence.
Presence is where we close the gap.
Presence requires vulnerability.
Vulnerability requires strength.
To be a lover, to step into the space of the gap, with the desire to meet ourselves, with desire to meet our lovers, requires surrender.
This journey, this sacred journey, into the gap, is the journey into the mystery.
It’s a journey into our bodies, into our hearts.
It’s a journey into the art of love.
