Taking It Deep Into The Body
‘I just lay there and cried. In 47 years I had never been touched so gently. For 47 years my body, and my Yoni, a new word for me, as there were so many new things on this journey, had never been touched so gently. And with what felt like love, and honouring. And it was so strange for me, to feel that, to just receive it. It was not easy to receive. Over the time of this healing journey with Jonti I learnt how hard it was for me to receive. And I learnt, am learning, so much about myself, about how conditioned I’ve become around touch and love and sex. I see it in almost every woman around me, how they talk, how they feel about their bodies. And when I felt this gentleness for the first time I just cried.
It wasn’t an easy journey to get to this point, and it wasn’t quick, which frustrated me so much at times, and now I’m grateful for the slowness of it. At last I get it, I’m getting it more and I am so excited about what’s to come.
Every woman, every person should experience this.’
So few of us, men and women, have been touched with love, with honouring, with the intention that comes from the heart, through the heart.
So many of our touch experiences have been conditional, transactional.
So many of our touch experiences are laden with expectation of having to go somewhere, very often a sexual place.
So many of our touch experiences are an expectation, it’s always felt that way, so we expect it to feel that way, and it does feel that way. We experience the expectation, not the touch. We experience the past, not the present.
So many of our touch experiences have not been slow and gentle. So slow, so gentle that allow us to go into deep relaxation, deep enough to feel safe, deep enough to release. Deep enough to let go of the tension within us. Deep enough to connect with our bodies, to feel, sensation, gentle, subtle, soft. Deep enough, slow enough for us to begin to inhabit our skin, to connect to the sensations of life.
So many of our touch experiences have not been honouring. For the hands that touch us, hold us to see us, feel us, define our being, our body. Honouring our desire, our fire and allowing it to burn, to take us to the places where we leave the body, where we transcend the mind, where we become, energy, where we become ecstasy.
So many of our touch experiences have not been with presence, with the connection that presence brings, with the warmth, the compassion, the heart of another that flows into us.
As deeply as I go into learning, exploring, understanding, energy, the mind, the unknown, so many ideas and perspectives on healing, on growth, on life, I come back to the power, the basic power, the radical power, the endless possibility of Conscious Touch.