This week is Soft-C&ck Appreciation Week.
And for many men, the vast majority, and women, it’s an anathema, it’s a fear, it’s a terror, it’s a nightmare.
It’s a space, a situation of such stress for so many men, and their partners, that even the thought of it causes even more stress.
And yet there’s so much possibility in this.
One of the things I’ve learned on my journey into consciousness is how much, how many possibilities and perspectives there are in any moment, in any experience.
And because we tend to look at things in such a narrow, inhibited, judgmental and limited way, we see very little beyond what our mind tells us is there.
There’s a movie I talk about quite often called Vantage Point, which is the same story told from where everyone was, and what they saw from there, when the event, an assassination of a politician happens.
An erection has become the, and one of the most limiting, aspects and definitions of male sexuality.
It’s become the standard by which we judge ourselves, and our partners do the same.
The media, porn, Big Pharma, teachers, have created billion dollar industries around erections.
And in this we’ve pathologised, even demonized soft-c&cks.
And us men, we’ve bought into big time, and created one of the deepest spaces of self-judgement, shame, disconnect and embarrassment.
The pressure of getting, having, maintaining, an erection is enormous.
And if you look at the way we live, the levels of health, or rather, un-health we experience, physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, we’ve put ourselves in a space that’s impossible.
And it is important to acknowledge that there is a difference between being unable to have, get, I’m staying away from the word ‘achieve’ an erection and sometimes simply not being hard.
Soft-c&ck touch, caress, even sex, oral pleasure, can be so tender, so loving, so intimate.
We’ve believed that erection equals pleasure, when the two are not the same thing at all.
The way many of us get to have an erection, the medications, supplements, enhancers, products, many of which BTW, are quite harmful for us, often desensitize us, take away feeling, in the name of being hard.
There is just so much in male sexuality, sensuality and eroticism, that is so vast.
And we’ll only get to experience it when we can get past the ‘erection is everything’ idea.
There can be, there are, and I teach them, so many ways to touch, caress, pleasure, a soft c&ck that are delicious. So sensitive, so alive.
With your hands, with your mouth, even penetrative experiences.
One of the most beautiful elements of soft-c&ck sex is that it’s heart sex.
It slows everything down, it brings us into presence.
It’s deeply relaxing.
It’s a way to experience our sexual energy.
It’s a way to explore ourselves, in intimacy, with creativity.
It creates a deeper connection with our lovers.
It opens us to be more vulnerable.
It allows us to receive more, and in different ways, which allows our partners to give more, and in different ways.
It creates a deeper awareness, and expands the way we see ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality.
There’s a mind-shift in this, a heart-shift.
An opening, an expansion.
If all we are as men, sexually, is an erection, an orgasm and ejaculation, we’ve limited ourselves severely.
We are so much more.
And if we’ll allow ourselves our humanness, we’ll allow so much more into our lives and our pleasure.
I’ve been teaching, and offering experiences that open us to a wider range of experiences for over 30 yrs.
The journey of these practices is as much an inner journey as it’s an experiential, practical one.
It’s so important that our sexuality is in the context of our lives.
And the possibilities are, literally, limitless…
I invite you, come and explore, come and experience, come and learn…
