I was thinking about food
I was thinking about sex
I was thinking about nourishment
I was thinking about nurturing
I was thinking about the kind of food we eat, the nourishment, or lack of nourishment we get.
The context we eat in, the way we eat.
And the kind of sex, sensuality, pleasure we have, the way we have it, and the context we have it in.
I was thinking about the emotional nourishment, the physical nourishment, we get from sex, and how that is directly linked to the kind of sex, the quality of sex we have.
If you take a moment and think about what nourishing sex feels like.
It’s fulfilling, and that can mean many things.
Fulfilment is different on different times and on different days.
Fulfilment in pleasure means that, firstly, I’m looking inside to what my desire is, and secondly, I’ve been heard, seen, acknowledged.
Sometimes there’s a discussion around this, about the elements of the experience, what are we asking for, could we replace this with that?
And we’re heard.
Which touches something inside of us, something that goes ahh.
Something that takes a breath connected to the heart.
Then we look at how this was prepared and presented.
Was it with some thought, some creativity, some inspiration?
Was there love put into this?
Or was it the same as at any fast-food outlet around the world?
Was it about simply filling your stomach, sex in a pattern?
Sex that was an itch to be scratched, because we’re bored, because it’s there?
Was it simply the release, a few seconds of sensation?
A while ago I wrote a piece for a magazine where I spoke about 4 kinds of sex, Junk Food, Fast Food, Comfort Food and Gourmet Sex.
Of course there are plenty more, Fusion, which I love, Creative, Snacks, Play, Exploring.
And the question with all of this is, are we nourished in some way?
Fast Food Sex can be great, a quickie, some playing, fooling around…
Comfort Food, I know your body, I know what you like, and I’m serving your favourite, for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and tea.
With a snack in between.
Gourmet Sex, this takes time, we create the experience, gather the ingredients, maybe we need an outfit to complement the food…
And when we think about being nourished, when we think about what we’d really like today, from the incredible simplicity of an orgasmic bowl of fruit to a mind-blowing meal of subtlety, aroma, texture and surprise, the possibilities are limitless.
As we open to the pleasure, the elements of the taste, the touch, the sensation, the sound, the smell, the sight, the feeling, open to us.
Awareness is the key here.
To be present to all that’s happening, all that we’re sensing, all that we’re feeling.
To savour, even for a few quick moments, all that’s here, before us, within us, between us.
The way that so many of us eat is with as little time as possible, as little taste, as little care.
It’s rushed, it’s in front of the TV or computer.
It’s as convenient as it can be.
And it’s often not very nutritional.
Many of us have sex in pretty much the same way.
It’s quick, it’s about the goal, the orgasm, hopefully, often not, for both of us.
It’s a pattern, it’s the same.
We don’t talk about it, we dare not ask if it was fulfilling?
We don’t ask, did you feel cared for, did you feel intimate, did you feel connected, was it pleasurable?
We might ask the very limiting, very pressured question, did you come?
And if the answer is no, we often don’t know what to say about that.
There’s a concept of negative nutrition.
Simply, food that’s not good for you.
We can expand that into the negative nutrition of sex that’s contracting more than expanding.
It begins with sex not being fulfilling, and stretches out into having sex for someone else, keeping the peace, not being turned on, not getting what you want.
It takes away from you, rather than adding.
It makes you less, it shrinks you inside.
Spend some time thinking about the touch that nourishes you, the words, the experiences.
The way you’d like the meal of pleasure to be served, all the ways, from a simple bite to a feast, a banquet, the buffet of possibilities…
In a few weeks in Cape Town, then back in Johannesburg, we’ll be sharing a range of pleasure possibilities to help expand your sensual, sexual, intimate experiences.
I invite you to join me, details are on my page, and you’re welcome to message me.
