We’ve been talking a lot about Yoni Massage, today we’re talking about Lingam Massage.
When I teach this, essentially I teach the practical part of the massage in 3 parts, Earth, Water and Fire.
Which, BTW, is one of the ways that energy moves in the body.
A while ago at a Lingam Massage workshop, and not for the 1st time, I watched something happen.
Some of the men, especially at the beginning of the massage, and for a few for the whole experience, didn’t get an erection.
I watched them stiffen, contract, withdraw. The anxiety they felt was palpable, the fear, the worry.
And the same in some of their partners.
The Earth Massage is the preparation, getting the ground ready, bringing him into his body, relaxing, settling into himself.
It’s the whole body, and particularly his perineum, groin crease, public bone.
So many of us when it comes to male sexual touch go directly for the Lingam.
This time of connecting with his body prepares him for a deeper experience.
The Water Massage is next, and this is where the confusion and anxiety in the body begins for many men.
It’s slow, so slow, soft, so soft, gentle, so gentle, tender, so tender.
Here’s what happens.
We’re not used to being touched in that way.
From the time we start touching ourselves, its friction, hard, fast, to get to the orgasm.
When our lovers start touching us, they do that in the same way.
Here’s what happens.
This touch, over time, numbs us.
Then there’s the expectation and the pattern of how we have to react, how we have to respond.
Get hard, stay hard, ejaculate.
And when that doesn’t happen, when our body does something different, we don’t know what to do.
We’ve bought into what it means to be a sexual man in such a narrow way that anything that doesn’t fit that, we reject.
This touch, the Earth, the Water, is about connection.
This touch is about sensation, feeling, energy.
This touch is not about performance.
This touch is not about making anything happen, about anything having to happen.
This touch is about being present in your body, enough, to allow whatever’s there to be there.
And for your body to do what it does.
This touch is about you relaxing into your body enough for this to happen.
In the beginning, until we can expand our understanding and experience, this takes us so far out of our comfort zone, out of our expectations, out of what we think, how we think it should be.
And we don’t know what to do with that.
So we get anxious, confused, contracted…
Our lovers do the same.
What are they doing wrong, what are they doing that’s not good enough?
It becomes about the result, the outcome, the performance, when it could be about pleasure.
Which is what it’s actually really about.
The Fire Massage is about deeper pleasure.
This is where we go to something familiar, although in a more expanded way.
The Fire is where we go into a place that could be, could be, doesn’t have to be, about orgasm, pleasure, a direct experience of sexual energy, even a spiritual experience.
For so many men, the porn and media models, the expectations and patterns keep our sexuality and pleasure at such a low level.
The potential within us is enormous, so wide, so vast.
The potential between us is so deep.
As we shift our perspective, as we shift our experience, we open ourselves and each other, to such beautiful possibilities.
PS, by the end of the workshop, these men were able to deeply experience something different, for some a shift so big that it changed the way they viewed their entire sexual experience.
Come and learn, come and experience.
I invite you.
