The Flow of Desire, Naturally





Natural flow.

An invitation that opens in space.


For something to emerge, arise, from the unknown.


I had an insight recently.

It was at the beginning of a massage swap, I was receiving.

Not that with Kashmiri Massage there’s a giver and receiver, it’s a mediation of touch, where your body, my body, becomes the field.

As much as it is, I was receiving.

We began in the way we do.

Eye Gazing, Breathing.

And we sat. And we sat.

Dropped into our hearts, deeper and deeper.

We sat.

I don’t know how long we sat.

From that something flowed, one of the most impactful experiences I’ve had in a long time.

It brought rage to the surface for me, shame to look at and dance with, took me into beliefs and shadows.

That’s the wisdom of the body.

When we allow, it will take us to these deep places. Uncomfortable places, challenging places, places of possibility, release, healing, connection.

Beautiful places within us.

So much came up from that experience.


One of the things was this.

Taking the time to connect opens such possibility.

We generally sit for a few minutes, in the massage space, healing space, and the space with a lover.

Then we start doing, something, anything, mostly our patterns, foreplay, the way we massage, something.

Taking the time for that deep connection allows what needs to arise, to flow.


We’re conditioned to doing, and often even when we think we’re not, we’re doing.

The time of connection is an invitation.

From this, movement, touch, a breath, a caress. It happens. We don’t think about it, we don’t plan it.

And it’s not what we may always do, where we always begin.

It doesn’t follow the pattern. And when we have these experiences we see how deeply the patterns are within us, patterns of touch, of pleasure, of sex.


This flow is what allows us to access and experience the wisdom that is within the body, in our cells, in our tissues.


When we take time to create, and to nurture this connection, and it needs to be nurtured, it’s always there.

It’s an energy, a fire that never quite goes out. It might be really low, you blow on the coals and it comes back to flame.


This connection is intimate, it’s an expression of the heart and the body.

This intimacy is what makes so much of the healing, the growing, the learning, possible.

In relationship it’s the intimacy that connects us, the space that allows us to be so vulnerable, so open, to share the depths of who we are.

There’s something interesting that’s come to my awareness about this connection in sex.

It keeps the sexual channel open.

It might go really low, so low we’re not even aware it’s there.

But it’s there.

When it’s not, when the way we have sex is goal-oriented, when it starts, has some kind of foreplay, and ends, mostly in orgasm, at the end of that we move out of the connection. And when arousal comes again we start from the beginning.

In the connection it’s always there, in some form, because the intimacy is there.

Sex, pleasure, flows from intimacy.

It has a richer quality, fuller, so many more aspects are revealed and have the space to dance with us, between us.

It moves into deeper dimensions rather than something that’s switched on and then off at the end.


It’s about desire.

The connection is desire expressed in life.

And pleasure flows from this, naturally, easily.

As a digression, in my healing and teaching, I find that when we work with the whole person, the whole body, so much of the sexual healing flows naturally, and so many issues resolve, change, release naturally. And it’s the connection, with ourselves, with another, that allows this.

The connection carries the desire to share ourselves, to dive deeper into ourselves, to create, have, hold the safety for a continuously deepening vulnerability within and between us.

This desire expresses itself in so many ways in our lives.

Arousal comes and goes.

And often it’s triggered by something outside of ourselves and by the mind, where desire rises from within us, from our connection to life, to feeling, to sensation, to experience the moment.


This connection takes time to develop, and to nurture.

It’s an awareness within us, from the heart, my heart to love, my heart to yours.

It’s the connection of possibility.