The Healing is in The Connection

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The relationship many of us have with our bodies, is at best, functional.

The relationship many of us have with our genitals, is at best, AT BEST, functional.

The relationship many of us have with our sexuality, is at best, functional.

We’re concerned that everything works.

That’s all.

 

For so many of us, our genitals, and by extension our sexuality, are separated from the rest of us, from the rest of our bodies, and very disconnected from our hearts.

 

It’s a story that begins when we’re small.

All children spend time touching their genitals. It’s comforting, feels good.

And we’re told don’t do that, it’s dirty, it’s nasty, it’s horrible, and worse.

We begin to create a judgement about our genitals, about pleasure, about feeling good. We begin to disconnect from our genitals, we separate from them.

Then we have funny words for our genitals that are not the same as the rest of our body. My nose is always my nose. We have, and so many families, cultures have words that are not connected to the rest of ourselves.

 

The sex education we get is generally fear-based. It’s around how not to get pregnant, or not to get someone else pregnant. How not get HIV and other STI’s.

We get very little education for pleasure.

We get very little permission for pleasure.

Instead our bodies, our genitals and our sexuality, our desires, are imbued with guilt, shame and embarrassment.

There’s a great deal of pressure to perform in certain sexual ways, to have certain kinds of sex.

There’s an obsession with orgasm, with a porn-model of sex.

 

Then there is a deep judgement of our genitals, how they should, look, how they should smell, how they should taste, how big they should be, how tight, how hard..

These are all created by industries that need us to buy into this in order to sell their products, and keep us insecure in comparison.

 

When we have sexual experiences that are painful and unfulfilling, when we’re touched in away that’s not honoring and loving, when we have experiences that are about someone else’s pleasure, when we have an experience that’s pressured, that’s about performance, that makes us feel guilty, shamed, dirty, used etc.

 

Then, for many of us, sex and heart are not connected. I often say that it’s like they’re speaking two different languages. They’re not having the same conversation. We have sex, we have love, and they’re not in the same place at the same time.

We’re not taught about this connection, how important it is, how to move energy between  these centers.

 

When we have these experiences we disconnect, we separate, from our genitals, from our sexuality.

 

It’s been said that healing is about connection.

Connecting with the parts of ourselves that we’ve been disconnected from and have disconnected from, through these experiences, these beliefs and these judgments.

 

In the connection is the healing.

In the connection is the beginning to establish a relationship with our bodies, our genitals and our sexuality.

We get to know ourselves, explore ourselves, learn about ourselves.

We get to accept ourselves, like ourselves, and in time, love ourselves.

We get to create an intimacy with ourselves.

 

This is where we begin to see that pleasure is unlimited. That the depths, the heights of intimacy, of energy, have no boundaries.

We also begin to bring our genitals and sexuality into ourselves.

For so many of us, they’re in a box, separate from the rest of us. We take them out in very specific contexts and circumstances, use it, and put it away again.

There’s also a gap in our bodies, between our legs.

In connecting we bring ourselves home to ourselves.

We claim and reclaim ownership of ourselves, what we gave away, what was taken from us.

 

And we give ourselves permission to be pleasure beings, beautiful, powerful, loving, intimate, open, filled with possibility.

 

I have created 2 programmes to help with this connection.

 

Your Sensual Body of Connection

 

The first is for you to work with on your own, connecting with your body, your sensuality, your breath, your heart.

It consists of six practices, with two extra experiences added.

This is an online programme. You receive the practice, how to do it, the context, why you’re doing it to give it meaning.

 

The second is for Couples.

This uses sensuality, touch and breath to create intimacy and connection between you and your partner.

There are also two extra bonus experiences with this programme.

 

Both of them include my audio book, Let’s Talk About Sex, and some of the ErosLife Sex Education DVD’s.

 

Please email me for more info, jonti@eroslife.co.za.

 

I Wish You So Much Pleasure!