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I was thinking about joy and celebration.
I was thinking about the joy and celebration of sex, of lovemaking.
And I was thinking that we don’t often experience that.
Here’s why.
Firstly, the way we generally have sex, and the way we live, is as part of a pattern. We do the same thing in the same way. It works, whatever that means, it’s our comfort zone, and it’s what we know. So we do what we know.
We kiss in the same way.
We touch in the same way.
The same positions, the same ending.
It’s a pattern.
Secondly, we focus so much on orgasm, on you coming, on me coming, on making sure you come, that we forget about being present. We’re not in the moment, in the sensations, in the feelings. We’re doing whatever we need to do to get there, to the orgasm. We’re in whatever fantasy and thoughts we need to get to the orgasm.
Next is the seriousness of sex, because sex for many of us is a serious activity. There are all the things we have to do during sex, which are linked to the pattern.
Part of the seriousness is the judgement.
The judgement that says we can’t be too loud or too messy.
We have to be contained.
We can’t say too many extreme words or extreme things.
We can’t be too passionate.
We can’t be too much because that’s overwhelming or unladylike or unmasculine or whatever other bullshit we’ve accepted.
So we have to be appropriate.
We can’t scare him or her away.
We can’t let the beast out, and that’s the same for men and women.
We can’t let the fire get too hot, because they might not know how to deal with it and get burned.
The celebration of sex is the celebration of who we are, of life – force, of vitality.
It’s the celebration of our bodies, our hearts, our voices, our breath.
It’s loud, it’s messy.
It’s a dance, with you wrapped around me, with my erection waving as I jump around, with your breasts all over as you whirl through space.
It’s coming together and laughing at ourselves, each other, just laughing because it feels so fucking good.
And singing, shouting our passion and joy.
It’s looking into you so deep that all I see is love that brings me to tears.
It’s a moment that’s so soft we just dissolve.
It’s a giggle and it’s a sigh.
It’s present, so present that it feels as if our bodies can’t contain the feelings and they don’t, and we go somewhere else where there are no words.
It goes so far beyond orgasm it’s about being orgasmic.
It’s a fascination and a curiosity and an exploration that’s endless.
It’s revelling in the way we look, the way we smell, the way we taste, the way we feel.
It’s in the way that we become one.
It’s in our presence, and the joy of loving.
In this, we go from pleasure, to ecstasy, to bliss.
To infinite possibility.
In the celebration of the beautiful beings we are.
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