The Making of an Erotic Massage Therapist Pt 1


I’d like to share some of my journey with you, what brought me to this point as an erotic massage therapist and teacher.


I’ve been doing this for over 20 years and it’s a journey of continuous learning, expansion, growth, exploration, understanding and connection.

It’s about the body, it’s about the mind, it’s about the heart, it’s about energy, it’s about sexuality, it’s about sensuality, it’s about eroticism, it’s about intimacy and more.


Most of what I do and teach now I developed over time and exploration.

Some of it comes from learning about the body, energy, consciousness, and seeing how we can use these ideas in a sensual and erotic way.


It’s also very much about the space where eroticism, the heart and healing intersect.

When our intention is to touch from the heart, to honour the body and the being in their fullness, meaning all of the body including the power of erotic energy, that happens.

Very often we use the energy of sexuality as a force of vitality, of creativity, of release and healing.

Pleasure is a pathway to these rather than always being the goal. Our bodies, and our genitals, and our sexuality are seen as portals to something deeper.

That’s not taking away from the pleasure, it’s simply saying that there’s more, much more.

And when we connect with that the massage experience becomes more, transformational, even spiritual.


In this it’s been my intention for these experiences to be seen as beautiful, empowering, opening and not hidden or dirty.


I was fortunate to be involved in an adult fantasy club.

This was a fascinating place to be in, and to have access to so many people to explore, practice and learn was fantastic.

I was living in two worlds, learning about energy, healing, spirituality, and sex.

In the world of, let’s call it spirituality, which is wide but fits a range of practices, ideas, schools etc, many people separate sex from everything else. Spirituality happens everywhere but the pelvis.

Even a lot of touch, and full-body massage leaves this gap in the middle of our bodies.

For those involved in Conscious Sexuality, Neo-Tantra, Taoist Practices etc, it’s a natural connection.

For most of our world, not.


So for me, being in these seemingly separate worlds, and to understand that a lot of people involved in sexuality were not that interested in energy and spirituality, was fascinating.


The wonderful part was being able to do literally thousands of massages, mostly with women, and learn from that.

When I look back at it, and think about Malcolm Gladwell’s 10 000 hours, I passed that long ago.

To share with all kinds of bodies, all kinds of reactions and responses.

To be able to explore and learn about so many yoni’s, so many aspects of sexual energy and how it works and moves in the body, gave me a field of possibility very few people get.


Over time I’ll share some of the experiences with you. Some are very erotic and arousing, some almost surreal, some funny, some strange, the spectrum of being human.


I recall one Sunday morning sitting at a very traditional Jewish wedding, at a table with people I didn’t know. They all knew each other and were talking about what they had done the night before.

I sat thinking about what I would say if anyone asked me.


At about 2 am I looked around the room I was in, at the club.

I had done about 5 massages, all of them to high states of arousal. There were people watching, some touching each other, even a couple having quiet sex, and then not so quiet, in a corner.

I wasn’t asked about my night, which was a whole lot easier.

But it was a space I was able to learn and experience so much in.


And from this, such possibility…