The Paradox of Pleasure



I was struck by an incredible paradox we’ve created that impacts on female sexuality.
There is an amazing focus on female sexuality and women’s pleasure in the media. You can’t look at a magazine without there being articles about more pleasure for her, what she wants, how many and what type of orgasms she should be having, and how to make him a better lover to give her more pleasure. In the world of Conscious Sexuality we teach so much about it. There is an abundance of workshops on Yoni Massage, Sacred Spot Work, Female Ejaculation, Expanded Orgasm etc. And so there should be. For so long there has been such repression, myth, misinformation and lack of awareness of the possibilities and power of women’s sexuality.
Here’s the paradox.
There’s all this about her pleasure, and there are so few outlets for women to express and indulge in this pleasure. Except for the Conscious Sexual communities.
The social and cultural stigma against a sexually powerful woman expressing her energy is still huge and deep.
We’ve created this world of paradox and hypocrisy. So much screams at her to be this Sexual Goddess, and yet, when she does…
We have an expectation that her sexuality must fit into the patterns and social structures that are more about controlling her sexual energy and fitting it in to a limited expression.
We open the door, we show what’s inside, maybe even offer a taste, and then say that’s all you’re allowed. The frustration and anger so many women experience, the lack of fulfillment in knowing what may be is deep.
So many women that I work with and talk to acknowledge this, and also admit to having had glimpses of what’s inside of them.
They’ve felt the fire, the power has touched them. They’ve seen the Wild Woman and long to dance with her in loud abandon.
How, where, with who?
She has to cross so many boundaries to allow herself the full exptession of her sexuality. She has to become a warrior to free that which has been repressed for so long. She has to become a healer to tend the scars of generations. She has to become a shaman to know her spirit. She has to become an adventurer to walk the dark paths within her self. She has to become an artist to share her self with the world.
As the Conscious Sexual communities spread, as greater possibilities open, as Sensual Energy Massage Experiences become more available, as more channels of pleasure open, more and more we can go beyond the paradox into the possibilities of pleasure.